✓ | REBIRTH OF THE REBEL [Book Two]

CHAPTER 22

"But," I paused. I am unsure if bringing it up will clear something between us. I took a deep breath, and moved away a little, just enough that I could face him. "Nethys warned me about Napoleon's involvement. Didn't you get scared that I might end up following Annabelle's path?"

Nagtataka ako ng isang manipis na ngiti lamang ang sinagot niya, bago ako hilain muli at yakapin. Akma na sana akong gagalaw ng pigilan niya ako.

"Annabelle's pregnancy traumatized me," he suddenly uttered. Mahina ang boses niya, at parang halos hindi niya din mailabas 'yon. I could feel his breathing and I know how it affects his emotions. "Napoleon and Annabelle are quite close, because he found her first. He was like a brother that protects his sister at all cost even when they aren't related. When she got under my care, Napoleon and I had vowed to protect her but we both failed."

"No, you did your best," I suddenly interrupted. Ramdam ko kasi ang sakit sa boses niya kaya nakapagsalita ako. He just tucked a thin smile as if he appreciated me voicing out but he couldn't truly accept it.

"When she got pregnant, I was the happiest father to be in the world, and Napoleon was a proud Uncle," he uttered, completely ditching what I said. He began stroking my hair again, and sometimes kissed the strands. "But, it also breaks me when she dies," he added.

That phrase made his voice finally break. I could feel pain and betrayal forming in his presence. Napahawak ako sa kanyang pisngi para punasan ang tumulong hula sa kanyang mga mata. My heart aches for him. I am breaking too.

"What happened was my fault, that is why it left a scar. If I hadn't done it, she might have been spared. She might have been alive," he continued. His voice was cracking, trying to suppress the emotions twirling inside him. "Everything changed when she died. I got lost, the Duchy suffered under my negligence. I blamed myself for her death. That's why I can't face Annika and miss her growth."

"Do you still blame yourself now?" I whispered to him. My gaze locked on his amber orbs and a little smile escaped in my lips. "Do you still wish to insist you shouldn't have done that?" I added another question.

"If that didn't happen, you wouldn't be here in my arms, wife. I may be selfish for answering this way, but everything happens for a reason, and maybe that led me to you," he replied. Nakikita ko ang kaginhawaan sa mukha niya. "Now, to answer your first question. I am scared about the possibilities of my actions. I am trying not to conclude abruptly nor act without hesitation. I am scared that if I don't follow your rules, I might lose you."

Napabuntong-hininga ako. "I am not leaving—"

"You are," he cut me off. "You are planning to leave the Duchy. It's your ultimate goal since you asked me for divorce." Roshan's eyes emitted an emotion of pain. "I know you. You will not settle unless you achieve what you want. That is how I know you, and even if you always say you won't. I know, someday...I will be facing your back as you walk away from my life. I am scared of that."

I give up. I can't make him feel like I'm not leaving. He must have mastered all the odds for that. Hindi na lang ako nagsalita dahil wala din naman patutunguhan 'yon.

"I am glad you are pregnant," he suddenly uttered after my long silence. "Because you are here. You are staying a little longer."

"Roshan," I said as I mastered my confidence to speak without this harming us both. "You know I know the future, and I am doing this to avoid that. You have to understand why my actions never lined up with yours."

"Alam ko," mahina niyang sabi. "I can't help myself to be selfish. There are ways we can pursue the future together, wife. There are options for us to choose on how we can protect ourselves for what is to come. Hindi ba pwedeng piliin mo naman ako?"