Psychotic Love

Chapter Three: Just Die

     I lay, crumbled up in the covers with my face buried into the soaken wet sheets. I want to go, get out of this hell-hole! Why did I yell for help? I bundled up a wad of sheets and slammed my fist onto the wall, creating a nice indent. The pain fled into my arm then down my back, "Damn it." I muttered when I realized my knuckles were know oozing out blood. I walked into the hall and tightened my jaw to see Gage leaning on the wall.

    When he saw me and then my hand he hald whispered and yelled, "Regan.. What did you do?" He looked at the indent in the wall and sighed, "I guess my wall deserved that one, didn't it." He smiled and I smiled a little bit too... Despite everything. 

     "I'm taking a shower." I gave him a hug and walked away.

     My cheeks went red when I walked into "my" room and pulled out fresh PJ's. I randomly took a handful of clothing and shoved it into the bathroom.

     Jarrod rose his eyebrow and laughed,coming from upstairs. "Wow... Didn't know you wore so many layers." I reached for my gun and was about to say the rudest thing ever when something funny happened. I thought of Darian and how he laughed the same way as Jarrod. I turned my attentioned to Gage,  he could be Darian, or my replacment Darian. What are you thinking you stupid idiot?!? Gage is Gage, no one is Darian! Think you stupid girl! I shook the thought away but I was pretty sure it was a good idea, maybe a back up plan if that. I released my grasp on the gun and set it on the counter.

     "Going to strip in front of me? I'll pay." Jarrod smirked and I shot him a dirty glare.

     "Says the one STILL standing there." I narrowed my eyes as he made his way towards me. What the hell is he doing? Does he think he is going to prove some type of point?  He got an inch away from me and then his lips pressed against mine. I shoved him back and slammed the door on his face within a matter of seconds.

     "Ow! What the hell was that for Regan!?!?" I glared at him through the door.

     "You know well enough. Now if you'll let me drown myself we'll be alright." I was serious but my tone sounded unconvincing.

     "You wouldn't do that to yourself." He denied me. Things were going to get nasty. There was so much he didn't know about me.

   I took all my clothes off and could still hear his muffled breathing from outside my door. "Wanna try me?" His breathing increased and I smirked as I turned on the water. Was I really going to do this? I shook my head then a wave of depression hit. That was Jarrod outside the door, not Darian. Oh how bad I wanted to curl up and be with Darian. I closed my eyes and memories flooded my mind.

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     "Regan honey waters ready." I made my way into the bathroom to see Darian looking at my towel around my body seductively.

     "No." I shook my head. Darian has wanted a family, but I wasn't going to have sex with some maniac boyfriend. Did I really just call him my boyfriend? I didn't want to believe it.

     "Fine you're so stubborn." I smiled as he walked away, leaving the door wide open.

     "Nice try." I shut it and dropped the towel, stepping a foot into the hot water. Chills ran up my bones as the heat sunk in. I moaned in delight, the water relaxed every nerve in my body and for once, I was able to think. It has been two weeks since my disappearance. I was worried, even scared. I don't know what to think, what to do. I feel like I'm living in the fog, not entirely sure on every decision or move. Like my body had taken over turning every step of the way involuntary, programmed like a robot. I tilted my head deeper into the water until it was completely covered and my nose was blowing out bubbles. I hesitated to move, wanting nothing more to drown right here and now.