BACK TO YOU (Fully Updated)

Chapter 15: Cailley (FULL)

"And as for Blair..." His cheerful mien suddenly turned serious and he brushed his hands on both sides of my face while those hypnotic, vivid greys bore into me. "Cailley... I'm breaking up with her. I promise, the day she comes back from her assignment, I'll end it. I've thought about it and I just-I just couldn't do it today. It would all be so sudden for her if I did it now and she'll be crushed... I know she would be either way but, I just don't want to do it while she's about to go away on assignment. I hope you'll trust me? On this?" His eyes were closely searching mine, anxiously waiting for an answer.

How could I say no to Lucas? He was so sincere, so fully intent on making this new thing with us work, that I had no choice but to nod.

"I trust you," was my conclusive reply. I was leaving my fate in his hands.

Lucas breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. Wiping the traces of tears on my face he murmured, "Then please don't cry. I don't ever want to see you cry." And with that last sentence hanging in the air, he bent down and pressed his lips once more on mine. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, and boy, did it feel wonderful.

**********

Lucas and I walked back to Riverside Drive together. We skipped holding each other's hands; telling him I was afraid that someone we knew in the neighborhood might see us. He snorted at that, saying that the neighbors wouldn't really care and that they didn't know if he had a girlfriend or not. I insisted and even stressed out the worrying fact that Blair could possibly catch us. With that said he reluctantly accepted my explanation and slumped his shoulders in mock defeat, making me laugh, then he straightened and the two of us headed to our street in silence.

I was still in a bit of shock with our brief rendezvous in the alley. What would happen now? Everything was going so fast, my mind was having a hard time processing it. Lucas said he wanted me, and even if I wasn't as vocal as he was, I believed that my actions spoke for it. He also promised that he would end it with Blair soon. Three days to be exact, on the day she comes back from assignment. Sigh. As much as I was feeling guilty at the selfishness of my thoughts, I still wished he would not go back from his word.

I was the reason for Blair's impending heartbreak, and I couldn't shake away the awareness that I was indeed taking another man from another woman. Yes I was in love with Lucas, and he was feeling something for me, too, but that didn't mean that I should be jumping with joy because he chose me over her. A break up was a break up, and one person was bound to hurt more than the other. And that would be... sad, painful and depressing.

But what if Blair didn't agree to break it up? What if she begged Lucas to stay with her? What if she kissed him, and all of a sudden Lucas recognized that who he really wanted was Blair, after all? That I was just a lapse? I knew I didn't stand a chance against her. We were like heaven and earth, for crying out loud.

And what about the truth of my life? I still didn't know how I would tell him about it. Could he accept someone without a past? Someone who had only known three years of her existence? But I had to reveal it to him someday. This was not something you hide in your closet forever.

I didn't notice that Lucas stopped walking until I heard his deep voice calling out my name. Turning around, I walked back five steps toward him and gave a look of inquiry.

Brushing the back of his fingers on my cheek, he spoke softly, "Sweetheart, would you mind heading back to Shannon's first? I think that it's the best option for us right now. Please don't be mad, okay? I'll follow real soon. And I need to grab something inside my house, anyway." He pointed his thumb to the right and I followed it and my eyes widened.