Complicated

Part 67 - I'm not strong enough for this, Steve

"How does it feel?" Steve asks.

"Like it's someone else's." He says.

"It isn't." Steve says. Sam looks down at it in his arm then up at Mya. "I don't know, your grandpa built this for Steve. I can't-" as he's about to put it down, she places her hand on his arm, stopping him.

"Hey, it's okay. You are the best and only person for the job" She says pulling the shield back up toward his chest. "You look good... Cap!" She smiles. Sam tries to hold back tears and nods.

"Thank you. I'll do my best." Sam smiles and walks away toward Bucky.

Steve places his arm on Mya's. "I want you and Bucky to be happy..." he smiles. "Steve, I don't-" he interrupts her. "He loves you. All I want is for you two to finally be happy... It was never going to happen while I was still here, we both know that..." he adds, making her jaw slightly drops. She shakes her head, as tears fill her eyes again.

After a few minutes Sam, Steve and Bruce leave. Bucky puts Noah down for his nap.

Mya stays on the log looking out thinking about what Steve said. "While I was still here, what the hell is that supposed to mean." She whispers.

Bucky comes out to check on her. She starts walking back toward the house and finds Bucky half way. "Hey I-" she interrupts him "You knew. You knew he was leaving." Her voice get louder making him stop.

"Why didn't you stop him?" She asks. "I- I couldn't. He wanted to leave. How could I?" He says.

"He said he wanted us to be happy and it wasn't going to happen while he was here..." she pauses. "You didn't stop him, because- Because you didn't want him around me anymore" she accuses him, he looks up at her eyes, they became darker. He barely recognized her, she was angry.

He started to feel guilty after her accusations. She was right he didn't try to stop him, he didn't want to stop him.

He looks down, and rubs the back of his head. "He said he didn't have a place here. He wanted to be happy. How could I stop him from being with her?" He lifts his shoulder, trying to hide his guilt. She knew him too well.

"That's bullshit and you know it, Bucky. He was perfectly fine here with us. How could you? He was so close to Noah and I..." she closes her eyes making tears fall down her cheeks. "I already lost so many people, now I lost him too." Her voice trembling.

"He decided to leave, I didn't make him" he says softly taking a step toward her.

"But YOU KNEW," she yells. "He told you and you didn't even try to stop him." She says. "You don't know that." He quickly responds.

"Did you? Did you even try to stop him?" She asks. He looks away and softly shakes his head. She scoffs, "Exactly, You only thought about yourself..." she says.

He shakes his head and reaches for her hand. "Doll, please, that's not-" she steps back. "Bucky, stop... You can't do that..." she says shaking her hands off his.

"I'm not doing anything, please, don't do this. I didn't make him leave. Maybe I didn't stop him, sure, but that doesn't mean I told him to... in the end it was HIS decision!" He says trying to take her hand again. He was right, but at the moment she didn't care, she was too sad and angry to listen.

"I- I need to be alone." She says pushing his hands and walks away passed him.

"I lost my best friend too, you know. It hurts me that he's not going to be around anymore." He says, she stops.

"Does it? Because just last week you didn't want to see us." She turns, "You thought I was having HIS kid, remember?" she huffs remembering that conversation.

He takes a deep breath and looks down, he was wondering when that was going to come up. "Well now I'm the one that doesn't want to see you Bucky..." she says swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I don't see why you're mad at me because of something HE decided to do" He says, emphasizing on he, as he points back at the machine.

She rolls her eyes and turns. "MYA" he yells grabbing her arm, making her stop.

"We have kids together, you can't get rid of me, and I am not leaving them." he says. She pulls her arm from his grip. "You can see Noah... I'm not keeping you from them." she says and walks away into the house.

He runs his hand through his hair letting out a soft frustrated scream.

She heads to her room, shutting the door and calls Pepper crying.

"Steve left. He's gone." She says.

"What? What do you mean?" Pepper asks.

"He went back in time and stayed with Peggy. He's gone" she says through the tears.

"Oh I'm so sorry, hon." She says.

"Bucky knew. He knew and he let him go. How could he do this to me?"

"Sweetheart..." Pepper says in her sweet voice that always helps her calm down. "I think you're mad at Steve for leaving and are taking it out of Bucky. I don't think you can blame him for this. Steve made his choice. I don't think he intentionally made him leave"
Of course she's right, but she's angry and doesn't care. Stubborn Stark!

"But why would he leave? He said he'd always be here for me and he left. How many more people am I going to lose?" She cries more into the phone, she felt so heartbroken.

"Oh I know, it's hard. But you are strong. And you have to be strong for your babies they need you. Specially that little miracle. It's a fighter just like it's mom!" She chuckles.

She looks down and places her hand on her tummy.

"As much as I hate this. You're right!" She sighs, "I'm probably not going to the office today." She adds.

"Yeah, I figured." Pepper chuckles. "It's okay. You know I can manage."

"I love you!" She says.

"I love you too sweetheart, rest!" She says and hangs up.

She curls up on her bed, she couldn't help but cry. Steve was actually gone, all the memories started flooding back from when she met him until the last time she saw him leave a few minutes ago.

She couldn't believe how much they've been through, she truly loved him, it was a different type of love though. She wasn't IN love with him, no matter what she'd always be in love with Bucky. But she loves Steve in a non-romantic way, similar to Pietro.

At the same time she felt angry he didn't tell her before. She could've prepared herself for it, if he did. It wouldn't have hit her this hard. She knew he always loved Peggy more than he ever loved her. She was okay with it, after all she loved Bucky more than she ever loved him.

She hated that feeling, it was hard enough going through it once with Pietro's death. Again with her dad and Nat, she has to deal with it once more. She couldn't catch a break.

At least those times, she had Steve to help her through it. Now he was gone, and it was his loss that broke her.