Lucidity

Goodbye To a World

I'm out of time.

Watching the ceiling fan and playing with Leo's curls, I cuddle with him until sleep approaches. My vision grows hazy until the spinning shadows resemble fingers reaching out to grab me. I'm balanced on the precipice between awake and asleep, sun and moon, alive and dead. But there's no one else I'd rather walk the edge with.

Somewhere in my ears, or maybe in my mind, or maybe from the universe itself, the Deity's voice rings. "Your time has elapsed."

I can hardly move my mouth, but I mumble weakly, "I know."

"I believe you have a decision to make."

"I know."

"Leo has already chosen his affiliation. I thank you for your compliance, Leo."

A fraction of my strength returns, flowing into my body. My sluggish mind processes her words too slowly. "What?"

"Oh, hasn't he told you? Leo is joining the Nightmares. I said he would remember his purpose, did I not?"

From somewhere buried in my bones, I summon the power to sit up and look at Leo incredulously. "What is she talking about?"

Leo stares back, chin jutted out as he tries to stay strong, but it quivers slightly. He stands up slowly, taking a step away from me and struggling to form words. "I..."

"Leo," I say sternly, following him. "What's going on? Leo, we're becoming Dreams together. We're not... We're not torturing people."

"Torturing people? Oh, no. We are saving them. Leo understands that. Don't you, Leo?"

His amber eyes well with tears as they turn toward the ceiling, unable to locate the source of the voice. "...Yes. I-I do."

"No." I laugh breathlessly, feeling the air evacuate my lungs, leaving me an empty shell. My vision is starting to twist and distort, a sign I'm already halfway out of this world. "No. No. He doesn't. He didn't– he's not– Leo?"

His head tips down now, unable to confront me. Tears roll down his nose and cheeks, and in the light, it looks like he's shedding stars. Then my vision is clouded with actual stars from some distant dream, blocking my view. "Cass... I'm sorry..."

In response to my disbelief, the Deity intervenes. The voice is distorted, caught between dreams and wakefulness. "Unconvinced?" it warbles, while somehow staying crystal clear. "See for yourself."

I blink, unable to think straight, as Leo's room comes back into view. He's standing in front of me, face contorted in desperation. "Cass, please—"

I laugh, but it sounds hysterical. "It's okay. She's lying, I know she's lying." I gasp for breath, on the verge of hyperventilating. "You would never— you would never do something like that. Right?"

His eyes are shining, flickering from side to side. His voice is soft, pained. "Cass..."

"She's lying." He can't meet my eyes now. I grab his hand. "Leo, tell me she's lying," I beg, holding it tightly. He doesn't answer. He closes his eyes, breathing hard, tears escaping down his cheeks. I didn't notice that I was shaking, but now, my hands tremble around his. I rotate it excruciatingly slowly and roll up his sleeve, unable to believe my eyes.

"No..." I breathe, feeling like my knees are about to give out. "N-no..."

"I'm sorry," he whispers, examining his wrist with me. His face shows his agony, but in his eyes, I can see the resignation as he looks at the elegant sun symbol tattooed on his skin.

I shake my head in disbelief, regaining my strength. "It's a trick." Of course it's a trick. "I'm dreaming, it's just an illusion, you would never... The real Leo would never betray me like that."