Lucidity

Luma

I'm home.

I've been here before, but I can't quite remember how. My feet have dangled in snow-soft mountains of stardust once upon a time. This enchanting music has played in my head before, nearly drowning out my thoughts. The same star-framed silhouette has beckoned me in another lifetime. I may not know where I am, but it's where I'm meant to be.

A miniature star, as petite as a rhinestone but a thousand times as bright, whizzes past my face. Then another follows, and another, ushering me forward in a whirlwind of shimmers and sparkles. Like a child enamored by a firefly, I reach for one, fingers pinching the air as if they have a chance at capturing something so mystical. I cup my hands over a shooting star, but it escapes between my fingertips before they can form a complete cage. I swing for another and clench my fist until my knuckles turn white, eager to ensnare a single star to examine, but it zips through my skin like I'm only a hologram. I can't even feel my own fingernails as they dig into my palm.

Perplexed, I jam my left thumb into my right palm. The edges are fuzzy and the lines blur as the two meet. The absence of the expected pressure bothers me, like there's something I should remember, something someone told me in another universe, something that this means...

My eyes land on the woman, the woman I knew once in another life, the woman with an odd familiarity surrounding her like stardust. I painstakingly piece together the information in my foggy mind. This woman is my mother. And I only see my mother in my dreams.

Finally, the fog clears, illuminated by a newfound lucidity. I'm dreaming. Obviously I'm dreaming— I'm floating freely in the Great Orion Nebula, reaching for the hand of a woman I haven't seen in sixteen years. I checked reality and reality failed me. This strange place, the spiraling stars, and my long-lost mother are all figments of my imagination.

But if this is all in my head, I finally get a say in how this dream ends.

The mounds of cosmic dust rumble, always unsettled at this point in the dream. The miniature stars accelerate, overwhelming me in a tornado of shimmering specks. The clouds beneath my feet usher me away from my mother, but I won't allow myself to be pushed around any longer. Here, I can change my fate.

I envision a ground beneath my feet to replace the endless void. Tentatively, I step off of the cloud platform and onto the fragile darkness like a lake of thin ice. Invisible solid ground meets the balls of my feet. Everywhere I touch, ripples of light form brief halos expanding into nothingness. For the first time, the rumbling earthquake doesn't disrupt my dream. I can rely on myself alone.

A shiver electrocutes my spine as my eyes meet the dark ones smiling down at me. Determined not to let the moment slip away again, I place my hand in her palm. Her fingers twist around my hand and tighten, securing me so I don't slip away for the thousandth time. Finally, I hear what she's been meaning to tell me.

"Welcome home, Cass."

Her voice rings around me in a million directions, piercing my skin until I can feel it deep in my bones. Every cell in my body is soothed by the clarity of the tones. The rest of the world melts away as she tugs me close to her and wraps me in her arms.

I gasp inaudibly, freezing at the unexpected embrace. Then my arms raise of their own accord and squeeze her tightly. A lump forms in my throat, preventing me from speaking, but I have no words regardless. I didn't know how badly I needed this comfort until she pulls away, and I feel hollow and empty.

I swallow and nearly choke on my heart in my throat, voice barely a whisper, afraid to even hope. "M-Mom?"

Everything inside of me melts as she offers the kindest smile I've ever received. "Hello, darling. You're all grown up... and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined."