Hurt | Remus Lupin

~45~ A Night to Remember

"How did you know?" asked Bill.

"The three of them sent me a letter." I replied annoyed. "At least Hagrid's back from his mission."

"Really?" asked Tonks with delight. "I loved him. Haven't seen him in ages."

I nodded. "Yeah, he's back in his little hut. I miss that place."

~ ~ ~ 
Sort of NSFW 

That night, I was laying in bed, when I heard a knock on my door. 

"Come on!"

Remus opened it and without a word, laid down next to me, pulling me in close.

"Oh, I've missed you Rem." I whispered, burring my face into his neck.

"Me too Sara." he kissed my cheek.

With both of our schedules, we almost never see each other anymore. The last time we properly hungout was almost two weeks.

"How have you been love?" he whispered.

"Shit." I laughed darkly. "There's so much going on Remus."

"I know." he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "It's a lot."

He absent mindedly started tracing my scars with his finger. 

"You always tend to do that." I said softly, as his finger went over my nose.

"Oh. Sorry." he pulled back.

"No no, it's fine. I- I like it. I just....was wondering why."

He started tracing my face again. "Well, I still feel the guilt." he blinked back tears. "That I'm the one who did this to you."

"I don't mind it though." I said softly.

His face scrunched up, before tears started spilling from his eyes. He pressed his forehead against mine, crying softly. 

I just held him as he cried. Tis man. The one who always stand up strong. The one who always comforts other people. I never realized just how broken he really was on the inside until that first time he had broken down while apologizing to me.

"I love you." I whispered.

"The last people to tell me they didn't mind were Sirius, James and...... Peter." he said. "And that was when we were kids."

"Yeah? Tell me more." I could tell he was bottling up his feelings on the inside for the past decade. 

"They became illegal Animagi just for me. So that they could be with me during my full moon days. You already know, Sirius was a dog. James was a stag, and Peter was a rat. Sometimes, it was alright. But sometimes, I would be dangerous and hurt them. I remember one day, I had hurt them all pretty badly. And whenever I hurt them, they'd always say "we don't mind. We don't care. you're still out friend." he sighed, as I wiped his eyes. "And I hadn't heard those words in nearly fifteen years."

I kissed his forehead. "Well, you're going to hear these words a lot from me."

He smiled slightly. "I don't deserve you."

"Shut up. Don't say that." I frowned.

"I really don't. You're young and healthy and pure. I'm not."

"I don't care Remus. Shut up." I played with his hair. "You deserve the world. You deserve everything."

"No I don't." he whispered.

"Yes, you do." I said firmly. "You deserve the world. You deserve all those friends who love you. You deserve someone who will love you for you and not let that change anything. And that's me. I'm  your person."

He blinked his tears away and heaved a sigh. "I'll just take your word for it."

"You better, boyfriend."

"Shut up Sara." he let out a watery laugh.

We looked at each other for a moment, before I leaned over and pressed my lips against his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rolled over, now on top of me with both of his arms on either side of my head. My eyes widened slightly. 

"Hello." I whispered.

He raised an eyebrows. "Hello?"

"I didn't know what else to say." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck pulling him down to kiss me. He pressed kisses all over my face, trailing down to my jaw and then my neck. I let out a small gasp as he kissed my collarbone.

He pulled at the button's on my shirt. "Can I?"

"Yes." I breathed out. He slowly unbuttoned my shirt and I watched in anticipation.

He slipped my shirt over my head and kneeled over me, his eyes trailing over my scars that were all over my body. I saw guilt wash over his eyes.

"Remus, don't." I said softly.

He blinked, looking at me. He leaned down and started kissing the scars, trailing his lips back up to my neck, before kissing my lips again.

"I love you." he mumbled against my neck.

"And I love you." I whispered back. 

I tugged in his shirt, and he let me pull it over. Now it was my turn to look at his scars. I trailed my fingers along his scars, and he shuddered at my touch. I then moved my hands to his trousers, pulling at them slightly. His eyes widened. "Are you- are you sure?"

I nodded, and he let me unbotton his pants, pulling them down and tossing them to the side. Then he pulled mine down. 

He kissed me again, moving along my jaw, before he tugged off my underwear underwear. 

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I know you haven't yet...."

"I'm sure, if you're sure." I whispered back.

"I'm sure. I'll be slow." he whispered next to my ear, pressing a light kiss to my cheek. "Ready?"

I nodded, blinking fast. I was nervous. But I was ready.

He looked deep into my eyes as he lowered himself slowly. I winced slightly. It hurt.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, as he pumped slowly. Soon, the pain turned to pleasure, and I let out a gasp of content. 

Remus, sensing that I was okay now, started going just the slightest bit faster. He kissed me all over my face, holding my hand, as he thrust slowly, groaning in pleasure.

"Remus." I gasped out.

"Fuck, Sara." he rasped.

When we finished, he pressed his wand to my stomach, murmuring something softly. My legs were shaking the slightest bit, and I was still breathing heavily. 

He wrapped is arms around me, pulling me to his chest as he laid next to me. "Are you alright Sara?"

"Yes Remus." I put my head on his chest.

He kissed the side of her head softly and held her like that the entire night.

THIS PROBABLY SUCKED I've never written any smut before send help. I also felt super awkward writing this so I hope you guys like it at least LOL