The Future Banned Writer Awards (CLOSED FOR JUDGING)

Round 2 Results: Dark Romance

Notes: This was a really enjoyable read. We quickly get to know the characters and each of their personalities stands out well. Aspen is super relatable (I too like smelling people's cosmetic products when I'm in their bathroom at a party) and her situation feels real. The two boys have very different personalities, and both have their appeal, although I do think that Aspen seems to fall in love a little too quickly with Cole. Still, it does make sense given her innocence and naivety.

I'd suggest diving into the action faster. Dark Romance is a genre that calls for a lot of drama, and things seem pretty quiet in the first chapters aside from the fight scene. Try to string the reader along with looming dangers, even if it doesn't happen -- she is, after all, in a potentially dangerous situation, hanging around alone with a stranger while she's drunk. For example, try to hook in the reader at the end of chapter 1 by insisting more on the fact that she's getting way too tipsy. I'd also suggest starting the first chapter with the girls in the car, right before they get to the bonfire, and skip the scene of Aspen getting ready.

There are a few punctuation mistakes and one or two switches between past and present tense, but nothing too distracting. Your story is interesting and well written, and I'm sure it'll be popular.

Spiceseeker  - Tracy Trouble
Character/s Introduction: 8/10
Genre Fit: 8/10
Grammar/Mechanics: 9/10
Details: 8/10
Total: 33/40

Notes: Mmm. There's so much sex in this book, sometimes it gets a little hard to find the plot between the porn. Still, background on Ray, his personality and his relationships are cleverly woven into the story. It feels like an interesting insight into a man's mind. It's all about the Tig Ol' Bitties.

You have great descriptions, and a talent to include tiny details that make them come alive, like the toothpaste-spotted bathroom mirror. I have the same one at home!! I'd love to see more of the setting, to help the reader dive more into the story's atmosphere, because aside from a few quick mentions, I kept forgetting that it was set in the 80s. I know it wasn't that long ago (only 40 years...) but I'm sure there's a different feel to it.

The characters are very real and weirdly likable given that they're all assholes. But then again, aren't we all assholes at heart? I certainly am. Ray is a sex-obsessed cheater who describes himself as awkward and nerdy (and a titty-scratching post), although he doesn't come across that way. Within seconds of meeting Tracy, he's fully determined to betray his beloved Alice, and every single woman who breathes the same air as him seems to immediately drop their panties.

Sometimes, people see themselves differently than they come across, but there are very few things that show that Ray might be awkward and nerdy (he is however a certified titty-scratching post).

So far, the book seems like it fits  more in the erotica genre than dark romance, although the whole cheating thing leaves space for some taboo love in the future. This is for sure a very intriguing story (and yes, Tracy's eyes still terrify me).

Books that made it to the final round:

Ibirockerchick  - Give All To Mafia
Character/s Introduction: 8.5/10
Genre Fit: 10/10
Grammar/Mechanics: 7.5/10
Details: 8.5/10
Total: 34.5/40

Notes: This was an easy and very enjoyable read, with a good plot and writing skills. Your descriptions in particular were beautifully unique!
The action comes fast and strong, and kept me hooked all throughout the first chapters. There's a little bit of exposition, but I don't think it's a problem. It's cleverly included in the storyline and gives me just enough information to know what's going on, without going overboard.