Cheat [MxM] (Carter Brothers Book 1)

Chapter 35

He'd been speaking to his parents a lot more over the phone and I was sure that had helped him deal with all that had been happening during the trying period.

He'd also quit his job at the nightclub - a big decision for him I had been secretly ecstatic about.

He hadn't been the same going to work after his attempted assault and now that he was away from the place and the bad memory of that night, I had peace of mind that he was going to be okay. He wouldn't have to face anything terrifying like that again, he was much happier, sleeping better, and it meant I had him to myself for more hours of the day.

I could tell that he was still worried about his financial dependency on me, but hopefully he wouldn't be uneasy about it for much longer. I had a plan... one I dearly hoped he'd be on board with accepting.

"I've lost you, Ezzy," Jae squeezed my hand and I blinked, smiling softly. The cars in front of me began to move and I focused in on the road again as I stepped on the gas pedal.

"I'm here, you have me," I hummed. "I'm nervous, but so fucking excited, Jae. God, I can't wait to hold him again. I bet... I bet he's grown..." I trailed off, my smile falling as my heart began to pound and my stomach began to twist.

"Yeah, I bet he has," Jae whispered, squeezing my hand again.

We'd seen Ollie twice since he'd been put in the care of my parents. Not because we weren't allowed to see him more frequently, but because the two times we had... it hadn't ended well. For Ollie's sake, we'd decided to stay away until we weren't just showing up to visit, but showing up to bring him home.

I felt my throat clog up just thinking about the last time I'd turned up at my parent's home, holding toys in my arms for my boy.

He'd been sitting on the carpet in front of the television, an untouched bowl of macaroni in front of him. When he'd seen me, his little face had crumpled and he'd scrambled up so fast, he'd knocked the bowl right over, spilling macaroni across the carpet.

I'd caught him when he reached me, sweeping him up into my arms, holding him tightly, kissing his face all over, trying my hardest not to burst into tears with my parent's chilly gazes watching me closely from the sidelines.

Ollie had bawled as he hugged me, clinging so tightly, his little fingernails digging into my skin. I'd hushed him, rocked him, sat with him, tried to play and talk. But he hadn't been interested in anything aside from trying his best to crawl into my skin.

His grip. Fuck his little death-grip on my shirt.

I'd held him there, consoling him, rubbing his back and his curls. Then my two hours were up and I had to leave. Things had escalated terribly after that and I never wanted to see that desperate, feral violence erupt from inside my son ever again.

He'd screamed at the top of his lungs the moment his grandma had come to take him out of my arms. It was a howl of protest as he threw his head back, narrowly missing busting her jutting chin. He bucked and kicked and screeched and thrashed and cried.

His face had turned purple, saliva running from his mouth, snot from his nose, tears from his eyes. Those bright green eyes filled with so much betrayal, so much hurt. He wanted to know why I wasn't taking him home. He wanted to know why his daddy was leaving him. Why his daddy didn't want him.

I'd been in tears, my head fucked up as I'd tugged his clawing hands off my arms and run for the front door, his echoing screams crushing me as I forced myself to turn away.

I'd had to leave before I ignored the authority of the social workers who'd decided Ollie was best off with his grandparents while I recovered and his mother was tried. Before I got arrested for disobeying the order and further fucked up my attempts to get him back in my care, I'd peeled out of the driveway like a mad man.