Lost in Enmity

Chapter Seven

The ride back to the mansion wasn't uncomfortable thanks to Bear. He rambled on about his day. How his friends were impressed he had two fathers and the slight difference in his papa's accent.

Bear also went over his itinerary for the rest of the day, making clear he wanted to say 'hello' to Grey first thing and which toy he wanted to play with before and after dinner. Build smiled as he drove, leaving Wichapas in charge of keeping up with the conversation as he listened comfortably.

"Phaw, will you help us with the Legos today?" Bear asked as they neared the main entrance. Build didn't quite understand the question. As the car stopped at the gate he looked at Bible. His husband looked back at him amused, he had turned his torso to better converse with Bear; his opposite arm was resting on the middle console. Build felt like he was once again too close.

"You're always welcome, Phaw." Bible's words were laced with mirth. His eyes crescent moons as a smile stretched on his face.

Build focused on the road to keep himself from smiling like an idiot. He felt embarrassed even looking at his husband with such a playful demeanor. The entire day had been like a dream, Build wasn't really sure he wanted to wake up. He felt overwhelmed and hyperaware, it made him a little lightheaded.

"They all envy you, every single one, for your looks, for your position, and how gorgeous your family is. Something in my gut tells me that Bible might know that too." Sofia's words continued to plague Build. He admired his friend for her honesty and strange intuition.

The truth was, a dark part of Build enjoyed what Sofia said. Enjoyed it so much he wished the words were true. The problem was his idea of a beautiful family included love between the spouses. There was none of that in his marriage, and Build wasn't really sure there could ever be considering their history.

"Did he want a divorce or did he suggest a divorce?"

The list of questions piled on and Build was too scared to ask a single one. Terrified of the truth and what it meant to face it. He wondered if he was spiraling.

"Jak!" Bible's voice cut through the musings. Build looked at his husband bemused, blinking a few times trying to find focus.

"Phaw, are you coming to say hello to Grey?" Bear repeated the question that Build must have missed while he was lost in thought.

"Sure, baby." Build looked at his son through the rearview mirror as he answered.

As they reached the mansion, Build was slow to get out of the car. The boys walked ahead of him, holding hands. It was the opposite of how they departed from school. Bear had held Build's hand back then and Bible had followed close behind, though they chatted.

Build had made the assumption his son would fixate on his Papa, but instead he kept including him. Was there the possibility his husband and his son could want the same thing he did? The thought made his head spin, he rubbed the back of his head and sighed as he followed them.

Grey met everyone at the door, tail standing straight up in greeting. Bear was gentle with the tabby and Wichapas showed him how to properly scratch under his chin. Build approached when his son looked up at him with a smile. Grey's fur was soft as he stroked its back and tail. He felt absorbed in the warmth of the moment and looking at the gentleness of his son and his husband, he felt the knot in his throat tightening.

Build excused himself when his husband went to grab some cat treats. He made some silly excuse about having to speak to Aom and escaped to the mansion. He didn't speak to Aom at all, he left Bear's bag on the kitchen counter and ran up the stairs to his studio. As he collapsed back onto the couch to try to even his breathing a text came into his phone.