The Sorrows of Yoruko

Part I

One member longed for a place to belong, a place where she could be seen and valued for who she was. Her parents ignored her, her schoolmates shunned her, and she felt like a ghost in the world. That's why she joined the Misfits, the group of rebels and outcasts who welcomed her with open arms. She finally found some happiness. She sought to help Lisbeth Hjort, the one intelligent girl who also joined the Misfits, and was eventually rejected. Lisbeth was different, and she paid for it with her life. Yoruko was the only one who ever tried to help her, and she never forgot that.

As for Yoruko herself, she was called "the child of the sunset", for her dark aesthetics and for the fact that she never actually felt the warmth of the sun on her skin. She too lived in a cold and harsh world, where her family demanded perfection and her school was a battleground. She carried a secret stash of pills and drugs in her backpack, hoping to numb the pain and silence the voices in her head. She always would ask questions she couldn't answer, questions that tormented her soul: Why do I feel this strange love that I never wanted? Is there any hope for me to be happy? Why can't they see that they are the ones who caused this mess?

It was a rare occasion when Lisbeth and Yoruko once crossed paths, just the two of them, on the lively streets of Amsterdam. They seized the opportunity to hop on their bicycles and pedal away from the crowd, enjoying the breeze. They felt a surge of curiosity about each other, and agreed to share their deepest motivations. Lisbeth confessed that she was driven by a thirst for knowledge, a kind of knowledge that was always misunderstood or ignored, and a relentless pursuit of excellence. Yoruko revealed that she longed for freedom and creativity, and a genuine compassion for others. She shunned perfectionism, which had haunted her since childhood by her demanding parents. Lisbeth saw perfectionism as a means to achieve greatness and make a difference in the world, yet Yoruko challenged her with a question instead: "What's the point of changing the world if no one can find happiness?" This struck a chord in Lisbeth. Happiness was essential, and perfection was a mirage. She paused, searching for a response. Then she uttered the sought after answer: "Show me how."

Yoruko beamed and reached out her hand to Lisbeth, as if to lift her from a fall. They clasped hands and continued their bike ride until they arrived at a stunning spot under a festooned bridge. Yoruko called it one of her artistic havens in Amsterdam, where she would hang out with the Misfits, or sometimes seek solace, especially on Sunday nights when school loomed over her the next day.

- Where are you originally from? Japan?

- Y-Yeah.

- And what brought you to the Netherlands?

- I wanted to escape from the pressure, the bullying and the sadness...and also, I love it here. I-I don't mean to say Japan is not a nice place, but here, I feel more free.

- I see. That makes sense.

- This bridge is so amazing...but I have to admit, it's also where I sometimes use drugs to numb my pain.

- How long have you been doing that?

- I started feeling this emptiness inside me that I couldn't fill...and then there's the therapy. My parents tried to make me go to therapy many times when they saw the cuts on my wrists, but I said no. I got really angry at them, and told them to back off.

- That bad...?

- Yeah, it's bad. I know my habits are hurting me, and I sometimes try to resist them or at least reduce the amount of substances I take, but when I'm overwhelmed, I have to take care the most.They lingered in their secret world, until the city beckoned them with its glittering lights. They explored each other's hidden gems, finding new reasons, places the other didn't know, to admire and bond. They sipped coffee to keep their eyes open, nibbled on treats to fuel their fun, and cracked witty jokes that sparkled with intelligence.Lisbeth's lecturing, however, sparked a fiery clash with the Misfits the next day. She had spouted off various scholarly ideas, urging them to hit the books and conform to society's standards if they wanted to get anywhere in life. The Misfits scoffed at her pompous attitude, but Yoruko missed the whole drama since she spent her weekends cooped up in her room, doodling or blasting music, but when she heard about it later, she was stunned by Lisbeth's lack of tact and empathy. When she arrived at the scene, she pulled aside one of her better friends in the group and asked for the context. They told her Lisbeth was far from sorry for being a know-it-all.

- You know, sometimes you really amaze me with your stubbornness, Lisbeth.

- What are you talking about? I'm just trying to help them out.

- Help them out? From what I heard, it sounded more like you were PRESSURING them.

- And what's wrong with showing them the way to achieve their goals in life? You need stability, security, and success.

- They can be earned through personal choices. It doesn't mean that you have to follow the rules of society just for money. The system is unfair.

- It's not, if you know how to play it.

- I don't like where this is going, Lisbeth. I thought we were on the same page, but now you sound more like a mentor, a very demanding mentor. What's changed in you?

- Maybe I care about you all? You act like lost children who need guidance.

- That's because we ARE lost children. But do you really have to be that naive as to try to make us conform to the system? We're not going to live forever, so let us have some fun. We welcomed you here.

- If this is what it means to be welcome, then I'd rather leave.

- Do you still not realize how rude you are being right now? You aren't supposed to enter someone's home and change them to suit your style. It's totally unrealistic.

- Maybe with some skill, I can.

- I'm done with this conversation...

She fled, sobbing uncontrollably, while Lisbeth froze in shock and confusion. She couldn't understand what she had done to hurt Yoruko so deeply. But when the others heard the wailing, they would surely blame Lisbeth, who had been the last person to speak with her.

- Look, I get where you're coming from, but that's not our philosophy here. We value freedom above everything else, not money or conformity or whatever.

- I don't see why it's so bad to suggest that maybe freedom comes from fitting in with society. You can earn a decent living, have a normal routine, and then enjoy your free time however you want.

- Just, just hold on a second. Who brainwashed you into thinking that, that you can have a normal life while being their puppet?

- I did, through education.

- Well education just made you blind. I'm sorry to say this, but you don't belong here. You seem like you'd do fine in the mainstream world.

- But my family kicked me out of the house.

- You're not the only one who's been through that. But unlike you, we were kicked out for different reasons. You were kicked out because they were intolerant. We were kicked out because WE were the rebels to THEM.

- Then maybe that means your families were actually right and maybe you need to study more to go back to them.

- Or maybe that means that you should leave and use your "education" to find another shelter. Judging by the way you talk and your lack of humility, you don't fit in here. End of story.

Lisbeth ended up leaving after the drama was over. She gathered her belongings in peace, without anyone hovering or rushing her. They gave her the space and time she needed. Yoruko kept sobbing in a corner, but not for the reason the others assumed. She lost a friend and regretted her harsh words. She took more blame than she even deserved.