Aphrodite's Curse

Initiate

As days changed, seasons did too, and so did years. Now, with full plumage grown I found myself in a larger tree with deeper roots and more complexities. The crass robin was nowhere to be found, and as a few years passed, I forgot about her.

For my initiation into the larger tree, my father made me join a squad of messenger birds. I was reluctant and as always timid about meeting birds for fear that they would be robins. One day while scavenging for worms, a bird who I deemed robin, then later starling, then back to robin at the time of writing this, initiated a conversation. She chirped a fondness for me and I at the time was still hesitant. She was a fellow messenger bird and eventually, I figured I had nothing to lose. We flew miles conversing about future plans and joking about certain qualms we shared in regard to our respective parents. She would entertain me on flights when I got tired by speaking some Spanish she knew and otherwise talking about anything that occupied her mind.

She significantly boosted my hope for the future as this fall was largely spent getting acquainted with the other messenger birds, most of which were a year older than me and I was absolutely floored with serotonin. I spent most of my time chatting with a couple of them, one of which was the initial initiator. It was often easier to banter with the four or five other messenger birds on our flights and they all seemed to reciprocate a love for me. We would sometimes orchestrate flights on weekends and enjoy slimy worms every Friday eve during our official chalked flights. During the last of one of these chalked flights, I did something to my leg, where I was unable to walk unsupported. I limped around desperately trying to compensate for the pain. I would have just rested the rest of the day, however, the tree that taught, the teaching tree, was hosting a function, and I wanted to be with my newly found friends.

In preparation for the function, we went to one of the messenger bird's houses and took a picture. I was in an extremely unconventional outfit that reflected a niche interest of mine at the time. It was black, white, and striped. At this time, I would first see the canary who would be extremely important to the development of my story. Although, at this time I paid no attention to her really and to be honest she scared me. But most people do so what else is new?

There was a halt in this newfound joy, however. It started out alright in the second half of winter, the messenger birds would now be assigned for shorter distances. But it was also around this time that the teaching tree had me in agony. I felt I wasn't taking in what I was supposed to be taught and the pressure from my parents wasn't helping. It led to me trying to confess to my support system that I was overwhelmed and scared, but I was too afraid to get into the details of why in fear of them making fun of me due to previous bullying, so my confessions turned into cries that sounded like the boy was abusing the wolf. During the blanket of doubt, we would sit in the morning waiting to be taught, and I found it hard to socialize even though everyone I knew was right there.

During one of the shorter chalked flights, the canary came over and noticed my demeanor, and asked if I was alright. I hesitated for a bit too long and realized, so I believe I just laughed it off in a half-joking manner. This was a click that I would remember, although my trust in her at the time was not confirmed, she seemed to trust me in the moment. In this tree, hunters came and attempted to contaminate our space with their shrapnel. We had to stay up high for months, and no one could fly to one another. I was once again alone. There was some communication, through audio and memory, however, I found myself recoiling again due to a lack of physical touch, and the family situation wasn't helping. I was put back into an isolated situation and had relapsed into my depression. There were still attempts to teach even when the world stopped, and I was withering away. One morning I woke up early, not because I was hopeful, but because my father was furious at me for not doing something for biology, he shouted at me aggressively and it left me in a frenzied teary stupor where my heart could not seem to understand the boundaries of its cage.

Eventually, the hunters cleared, and we could resume with caution. Some messengers had disobeyed the orders sometimes when they thought they had cleared out. They would take the chance to spread their wings with their peers. I was a timid and melancholy cardinal. Even in the safety of the tree, birds of any background were afraid. I had found solace in the canary over the course of this aviary quarantine. Although, I didn't quite realize just how important this yellow bird would be, as I realized I had forgotten to tell her something important. Something that had arisen over the course of me realizing something about myself and telling the initiate bird.