The Dark Heir - Nyx

15. Nyx.

He didn't expect her words to drag him down in such an excruciating way. Nyx had watched Theia stumble back, her body still smelling of him. He'd waited until every part of her broken soul disappeared behind that door and he turned away. He'd never gotten dressed so quickly. Within a moment, Nyx was in the sky, his fingers over his lips as though they could hold in the sob he released.

He hit the ground hard, his back slamming into a tree on the mountainside as he struggled to find anywhere far from the village. Nyx had never thought that deep about what he had done to her, now or then. He knew it was wrong when he'd peeled apart her sanity so carefully that she didn't notice, just for her to crawl to him for comfort. It was all he wanted- her love.

He thought he had it, thought love was something you couldn't regret. He regretted loving her, though. Mother, he wasn't even sure if it was love. It was a childish infatuation with a female so broken yet so strong. He wanted to be the one to make her feel strong, while keeping her broken enough to never leave him. She did, though. She had left him.

Theia had the strength to do what he never could. She walked away. Whether it was for her sake or his, he'd learn that tomorrow. Every word she spoke was so painfully true, he wished she had stabbed him over and over again. It would've been less painful than the realization that he was the villain in her story. However, some sick part of him enjoyed that truth.

He'd been coddled his whole life up until he met Theia. Nyx had never fought a damned battle, he had never faced a hardship past what to have for dinner or what jacket fit him best. Until she came along, Nyx had never known what it was like to care for someone. Then, some broken and haggard female stormed into his life and changed every perspective he had.

Seeing someone like that in vulnerable positions made him want to help her. So much so, that he created situations so that he could help her. That infatuation had grown so strong, he hated her for walking out. They'd been so young and stupid, but Nyx wasn't sure he had gotten past that. Sure he was older, but he wasn't wiser. If he was, he would've noticed the signs of his affect on her long ago.

Of course she would've kissed him. His face was beside hers, Theia believed her death was within a night, and her other option for release had been scared away by Nyx himself. It was yet another carefully crafted scheme that she fell for. He hated himself for that.

Nyx lifted his gaze to the shadowed moon through the trees. Tears blurred his vision, creating nothing but streaks of light. He'd taken her innocence, her joy, her light. Nyx was no better than the monsters Theia had fought his father to stop.

Nyx had seen the regret on her face the moment his hands touched her again. She'd been so beautiful those seconds before. Her lashes dusting her cheeks, her pink lips parted as she tried to catch her breath. He wanted to kiss the freckles across her nose.

It brought another rip to his chest. The memory of her tear-filled eyes looking at him with more hatred than he'd ever seen one person hold. He deserved it, though Nyx couldn't rid himself of his own hatred for her. He still didn't know the truth. The agony of his wrongdoings- his sympathy for her- was stronger than his centuries long fury.

Nyx sucked in a shaking breath, his eyes falling closed as he tried to contain himself. He never saw himself as a monster, he only ever saw himself as a male scorned- betrayed and forgotten. He wanted revenge, but he'd rather kill Theia than violate her. The thought had his stomach twisting, his body lurching forward as he coughed. No female deserved to feel like her choices were taken from her, yet he had done that to Theia.

Nyx shoved himself from the tree, clutching his chest as he tried to calm the erratic breaths. He needed to return home and sleep this feeling away so that he could be at his best when they went to Velaris. He couldn't let her see that he felt regret for how he treated her, because if she was to die, he'd want his infuriated face to be the last she saw- not one of regret. If she ended up living, Nyx planned to run away. He wouldn't want to be in Velaris, and he wouldn't want to be anywhere near Theia.