Falling In Love (Bella Ramsey)

Chapter 1: Late Nights In the Middle of June (Alex)

Song: "Better Than the Boys" by Veyah

I look around the crowded streets, joy radiating from every corner, and smile. I've been out as pan for 2 years now, but this is my first pride.

My parents were not supportive of my coming out, something I expected, yet knowing it would happen didn't make it hurt any less. I had finally made the hard decision a couple of months ago to cut them off and took the first opportunity I got (college) to move far far away. Now they were back in Minnesota while I was living my life as me in England. 

That's not to say that it has been easy. My friends have mostly gotten me through this period, special shoutout to Oliver, my best friend since freshman year at King's College. Frankly, I do not think I would have survived without them. To me, stepping out into these streets with my rainbow crochet top and booty shorts wasn't just about having fun or looking good for instagram, it was about taking control of who I was.

"Alex, are you coming?" I saw Oliver's green hair over the crowd and laughed, taking their outstretched hand and letting them pull me into the sea of people. I took in the laughter around me and soaked in the sunlight that seemed to be shining right on us. Sometimes it's hard to live knowing that a lot of people around the world want us dead for being who we are, but not now, not in this moment, where the sheer joy of loving fills every pore. 

Oliver and I spent the whole day in the sea of diverse queer flags and even more diverse queer people, it was exhilarating. By the end of the night, we found ourselves at the pride concert in the main square, there were so many people but we got there early enough to get a spot on the dance floor.

"Alex, there are so many pretty people here," Oliver said in an excited tone.

"Mhm," I responded, not breaking from my passionate dancing to "Money, Money, Money" by ABBA

"Mind if I leave you for a bit? Gotta go find me a partner"

"Mhm." Oliver walked towards a group of people who looked our age, I smiled at my friend's confidence, something I wished they would give me just a little bit of. In fact, my last relationship ended quite badly because of my lack of confidence. He, my therapist told me to not even think his name, had used my inability to fight back as a weapon; that would not happen again.

I was still looking at Oliver when I saw a figure in my peripheral vision. A person with long hair obscuring their face walking quickly as if lost; right towards me. I did not have time to react before they made contact, throwing me off my feet.

"What the –" I looked up at the figure, they had a pale round face framed by round glasses. Their mouth slightly open in shock, something most likely mirrored onto my own face. A moment of realization washed over me as they reached out their hand to help me up.

"I am so so sorry," they said with the most beautiful accent I'd ever heard.

"No – no all good," suddenly self-conscious of how American I sound.

"I'm Bella..."

"Ramsey" I finished for them, "sorry, you're just like the queer icon. My celebrity crush if I'm being honest." They laughed, but then caught sight of something and the smile vanished.

"You're bleeding"

"What?"

"Your shoulder, it's bleeding. Come with me I'll help you clean it"

"Um... ok," I responded, frankly dumbfounded about what exactly had just occurred. I looked back at Oliver, who was happily having a conversation with a guy in a purple button-down; they'll be fine.