him and i || harry styles

sixteen

I was holding up my hands with my face in them as I tried to regain my composure but it's useless; panic began to flood rapidly through my veins, my heart was pounding in my ears as I began to sweat excessively and my clothes felt too tight like I was held captive in them.

I couldn't hold it in any longer as I started loudly gasping for air which seemed to catch Harry's attention because once he saw the state I was in he immediately parked the car on the side of the road.

" Chérie– Azail...fuck, w-what's going on? " His tone sounded so concerned as he pushed my hair away from my face.

With a hand on my throat I I made an effort to regulate my breathing as best I could.
But the air felt too thick to breathe, it was suffocating me even more.

" Please no...not now at least " I plead under my breath.

My skin was wet with the amount of sweat coaxing it, so when Harry pulled down the windows I felt shivers running down my spine and goosebumps breaking all over my body.

But I still was barely able to catch a breath and the next thing I knew was Harry shoving an opened bottle of water in front of my face.

" I don't know what to do– fuck " he curses " drink this it might help " he said and I took the bottle from him with trembling hands spilling a generous amount of water on my clothes.

" It'll be okay darling... you'll be alright...I'm here for you " he pulled my hair away from my face, holding it so I can drink.

With shaky hands it wasn't possible for me to drink without tipping the bottle's contents onto myself and when I pulled the bottle away handling it to Harry, I gasped so loudly as if I was drowning underwater.

" Come here " harry whispers, pulling me holding my hands gently and pulling me to sit onto his lap in the driver's side.

I instinctively wrap my arms around him and bury my face in the crook of his neck as tears started rolling down my cheeks.

" I'm here love, I'll always be. " He unknowingly says in a soothing voice the words I desperately needed to hear.

" Shhhhh darling, I'm here " he repeats as he places a soft kiss on my forehead, tugging a lock of my hair behind my ear.

I sat there for what feels like forever just curled up in Harry's lap with my head still buried in the crook of his neck, I stopped crying a while ago and now I'm trying to convince myself to get up and go back to the passenger seat.

Every time I open my mouth to announce it to him, my body and mind betray me.

I do want to get up I really do but his lap is too comfortable, he just smells so good and I just can't explain it but he makes me feel better overall, it's like whenever he holds all of my problems fade and I have no care in the world but the time that's ticking by, limiting my time in his arms.

We were just sitting in silence for so long and with anyone else in the world the tension would be too unbearably thick you could cut it with a knife, not with Harry though, our silence is beyond comfortable it's like his lips don't even need to make a sound, his hands alone running rhythmically up and down my arm is all I need to feel a whole lot better.

" Are you feeling any better? " He questions, breaking the silence and I'm brought back to reality.

" Yes...hmm, I should probably get up " I go to slide to the passenger seat but he immediately places a hand on my waist stopping me " No– stay. "

I just stare at him confused about why he might want me to stay so reads my expressions, explaining " I don't mind if you stay– I love it actually... I mean I just want you to feel better " he fumbles with his words.

A timid smile flickers across my face as I lean back and rest my head on top of his habitually.

" Aren't you gonna what was that? "

" Would you want me to ask? " he answered with a question and I shook my head that rested on top of his.

" Then I won't ask " I breathe a sign of relief.

" Harry "

" I'm listening sweetheart "

" Thank you " I say pulling back to look into his eyes and he smiles a genuine, radiant and beautiful smile then he brings his hand up and gently rests my head back on against his.

••

A/n: might be my last chapter for a while until I regain my motivation :/

– chérie