The Kingdom of Darkness

Shenanigans

*Ash's POV*

I wake up to my beautiful husband, Leon hugging my waist. Today I think I'm going to rip Michael's hair out! Yes, that would be such a funny pran- what. the. fuck. aw nah this Leon bitch just farted I'm OUTTA here.

*Jonah's POV*

I've been up for like 4 hours I swear I'm going to beat somebody up and eat their eyeballs one day holy fuck I'm gonna kill these bitches FUCK FUCK bitch shit! My stupid ass sister, Kara, keeps eating my fucking lettuce I hate her so much what the fuck. I'm probably gonna go for like a little walk in the woods to cool off or something. I quickly say hello to my horse, Radish. I actually kind of hate Radish, he's such an ugly asshole!! Whatever. I was on my way to the kingdom's exit when all of a sudden I bumped into some stupid cunt not looking where they're going what the fucking shit is this! Oh. It's just Laila. Shit now I feel bad! She looks at me with concern while quickly hopping back up onto her feet, she lets out a little squeal before squeaking out a timid apology. I forgive her almost immediately, looking at me with a mischievous look, she pulls out a brutally slaughtered bird from behind her back "Jonah, look what I fucking caught!! Isn't it glorious?" I wanted to tell her that it wasn't very glorious and that she's kind of fucking weird sometime,  but I just stared and told her it was quite interesting. She growls while jumping up into the air and onto a roof before running along all the roofs, light footed and quiet like a mouse. Man I can never have a normal day I hate this place I'm going back to sleep fuck this shit fuck you fuck everybody fuck everything goodbye.

*Kara's POV*

Oh my god I love eating Jonah's lettuce, I don't even like lettuce! I just like eating it because it pisses him off. He just went back to bed so now's my chance to get my hands on some of that lettu- SHIT! I FELL DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS MAN WHAT THE HELL. I would just give up and go back to bed but I NEED that lettuce. I will not stop until I get that lettuce. I get up off the floor, limping my way over to the kitchen annnd WHAT THE SHIT. Oh my god, Mike is in the kitchen watching Gordon Ramsey cooking tutorials with an empty faygo bottle stuck in between his ass cheeks. I'm so gonna throw lettuce at him for that. I frantically grab the lettuce and stuff some in my mouth, throwing the rest at Mike. He jumps and looks at me "KARA, YOU ARE A FAGGOT! KILL YOURSELF NOW!!!" My bad...