not a big deal~carl grimes

<thirteen>

we had been stood there for ages and there was nothing around. I roll my eyes, leaning back against the guard tower behind me as carl complained 'it's so quiet.'

'it's easy to forget how loud the world used to be.' carol said as we caught up with him walking away. 'i used to complain about it all the time. traffic construction, car alarms. noise pollution.'

I chuckled 'i hated it too. but I just hate loud noises. I complained so much my parents would stick noise cancelling headphones on me when I began to annoy them. i get overwhelmed easily so i still carry them around, they're in my bag.'

carl laughed as carol said 'yeah, it's annoying, but now. what i wouldn't give for the sweet sound of a jumbo jet.'

'it'd be even sweeter if we were on it.' carl added.

'you mom was so proud of you.' carol turned to carl.

'for what?' he asked 'being mean to her?'

'no, you can't think about that.' carol shook her head slightly.

'it's all i think about.' he confessed.

i pulled him into a hug 'she'd be proud. she was proud. seemed that way to me anyway. but hey what do i know. my mom was never proud of me, half the time she didn't know i existed, the other halfit was 'oh you got all a's and b's on your report card well your brother was a straight a student and now he's in Harvard.'' i laughed to cover that what i had said was genuinely quite depressing.

'i'm sorry.' carl apologised.

'don't be.' i shook my head. i was going to speak again before we heard a car coming in. 'is it them?' i asked before we saw the silver car approach.

i helped carl open the heavy gates as they drove in.

i observed from the sidelines as rick rushed over to his son, pulling him into a comforting embrace.

'where's daryl?' carol asked.

my face lit up in fear 'what do you mean?' i turned to rick, tears nearly forming in my eyes 'did he not make it?'

'no, no it's fine, he's alive.' rick turned to carol as carl pulled me in, trying to comfort me as he knew how much i admired daryl and how i saw him like a dad 'we ran into his brother. they went off.'

'they left?' she asked 'daryl left? he's gone? is he coming back?'

'come on.' carl whispered into my ear as i pulled myself together, wiping the tears from my eyes and following them all inside.

i helped carl to close the heavy gate before heading back to the building. we sat with the small group of new comers before rick and hershel came back in. we disappeared back to the cells with them.

i spent the rest of the day hiding in my cell. i didn't want to face any of them. carl stayed with me for most of it, only leaving once or twice. as it got later, he tried to convince me to eat something but every time i would offer, i refused.

'not even a chocolate bar? i found it not long ago. it's not melted yet.' he tried to temp me.

'no thanks.' i muttered, laying on the bottom bunk, staring at the wall.

that night, carl slept on the top bunk. usually if i fell asleep on his bunk he'd just sleep there anyway as we could both fit, but tonight he realised that i needed my space so he took the top bunk.

i fell asleep pretty early so i woke up early. i mean really early. i shone my flashlight on my watch 2:34am. i sat up, staring around the room. the desk in the corner had a notebook sat on the top.

i pulled it to my lap, writing out something which i quietly tore out, making sure i didn't wake carl. he was doing so much around here while his dad was gone. he needed to catch on some much deserved sleep.

plus if he was awake, i wouldn't be able to do what i was about to.

i folded up the paper in half, writing his name on the side facing up and leaving it where the notebook was. i packed everything i owned into my bag before sneaking out. i passed the group on the other room, slipping past everyone by barely moving the creaky doors so that they didn't make too much noise.

i sighed when i finally made it outside, feeling the cold night air freeze my tear stained cheeks as i made my way to the gates.

as i opened one, i closed it before going to the next. there weren't many walkers around but i managed to kill the ones i did with my knife. i didn't pack extra ammo so i needed to be careful with when i used the gun.

i looked back at the prison. even with people there, it still looked abandoned. but it also looked safe, which it was. i couldn't think of a safer place than the prison, but regardless of how safe it was, i had to leave.

i opened the final gate, forcing it closed before any walkers slipped past me. by the time any had even gotten to the last gate i was at, i was far off into the woods that surrounded the prison.

finally, i was walking through the woods, no people, no distractions, just heading out to find the one person i couldn't currently live without.

i set out to go find daryl.