Eyes Like Sky ⚣ ✓

47.

Errol let out a laugh, breaking away from some of that sleep deprivation in his voice, and replacing it with a rich chuckle. "Well damn, I guess you're right. How fucking poetic."

And so I did my best to support his decision. If he played anything like how he did in my studio now almost two weeks ago, there wasn't a single doubt in my mind that he would blow his spectators away.

Maybe that was why I couldn't pull myself away from the thought of this showcase.

Atticus was warming up to the idea that I was inadvertently falling for Errol, much to my objections on this and promising both him and Nyra that Errol and I were just taking things slow.

The truth of the matter was, it was almost haunting how much I was starting to really care for him. It also brought to the forefront something that terrified the shit out of me- my inexperience with sex. Particularly gay sex.

During a brief stage of pure delirium (the only explanation for my next course of action) I made the harrowing mistake of asking Nyra more about it.

Yes, I know. The answer to your question 'what the complete hell was I thinking?' was that I wasn't. I clearly wasn't.

"Oh my god it's happening." Nyra whispered, stopping whatever she was doing in preparation of dinner. This was when my intelligence decided to join me again, how sweet of her, and I realized how grave a mistake I had made.

"Actually forget I-"

"How far have you two gone?" Nyra interrupted, the tone in her voice eluding to the very solid possibility that I wasn't getting out of this conversation unscathed. I'd soon find out that was the case.

Atlas, of all the people...

Well... I continued to ponder this. Who else was I going to ask?

Definitely not Atticus, are you kidding me. The man almost had a heart attack over a hickey last month.

I guess the internet still existed, but seeing as, no pun intended, I couldn't actually watch porn, I would have a bit of work cut out for me. The only reason the thought of asking Nyra more about something like this,even crossed my mind, was because of how dearly she loved her gay romance books. I just thought she must know something right?

Now I realized openly reading a book about gay sex at the public library would be less embarrassing than having this conversation.

"There hasn't been- We just haven't done-"

Maybe I should've just had this conversation with Atticus. At the very least, he would've directed me to some research links. Nyra was about to ask for my entire sexual history, and I knew for a fact Atticus would sooner throw himself off a balcony than subject himself to that information- i.e. that level of torture.

"Well ya know, this is a new experience for you. Has Errol ever..."

Though wildly invasive, this question was valid. "I don't think he has," I admitted.

The pause Nyra took, made me wish I could see her facial expressions. The possibilities of what was running through her... unique noggin right now, were endless.

"Well," she started, "there is the topic of douching. Commonly thought to be mandatory but it's really not. I must ask- how often do you shit?"

I never thought a day would come where I heard a question leave Nyra's lips that made me want to walk into oncoming traffic, but I'm devastated to report that today might be that day.

"Of all the things I could disclose to you, my bowel movements do not make the list. In fact the only list they make is the list of shit I plan on taking to my grave." I told Nyra.

"Hey now," she quipped back in defense mode, "you're the one who brought this topic to my door step." She reminded me.

And I was regretting every moment of it since.

"Yeah and I'm about to leave this topic on your door step like a baby left at a fire station." I replied.

"Okay okay okay," sensing my hostility, Nyra decided to breeze over this part. "Just know if you shit regularly, you probably won't need to douche. Now onto toys-"

My facial expressions had to warrant some concern, but if Nyra noticed, she sure as hell wasn't saying anything to address it.

"It's important you experiment before. Don't forget it can be really pleasurable for men- anal stimulation."

This conversation was hands down going to be my thirteenth reason. Matter fact, while I'd love to list off every atrocity committed by Nyra in my goodbye letter, you really couldn't beat this information out of me.

"I'd recommend starting small, and working up in size gradually... but you would know better than I just how big you'll want to go if you get what I'm saying."

Oh I get it, Nyra, I thought to myself. And just like that, I was picking out quotes to engrave on my headstone.

"Nyra I love you, but I would kindly like to withdraw from this topic of conversation immediately."

She had gone back to the task at hand which was prepping dinner, as if this conversation was just another casual thing for her, while I was sitting at our kitchen island fighting for my life in this high stool. It was nice knowing she was so readily available to talk about this, but I also silently vowed to never put either of us in this position again.

Ever.

"If you want, we can search up some gay porn together tonight, and I'll explain what's happening." She offered. That was officially my fucking limit.

"Nyra, please hear me when I say I would sooner take up priesthood."

She laughed at that, daring to continue to be lighthearted about something this insane. "It's just sex Atlas, the best advice I can give is to be clear and communicative about what feels right and what doesn't. From the looks of things, you two go together real bad- I doubt Errol would want you stressing over this, and I'm sure he's willing to work it out with you."

And for the first time in the what felt like the eternity this convo lasted for, Nyra had finally said something that didn't make me want to rip my hair out at the roots.

And so I thanked her for it, still questioning whether she really deserved that thank you. She only had to emotionally drag us through the fires of Mordor to get here, I guess.

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