Ink Lines

Chapter 29. Lotus flowers

The happy memories of her childhood were times spent with her brothers, her martial sisters, the rare nice moment with her mother, a conversation with her father.

Yanli loved her parents would have given her life for theirs in a heartbeat, but it was also true that she would never forgive them for the scars her brothers bore, in body and in spirit. For sending them away when they needed her the most after the disastrous Ten Year Night Hunt.

When Ah-Cheng was sick and afraid. When they forced A-Xian into joining the military lest he dishonor his Wei family or his Jiang.

The Wen had set that trap, she knew now. A Night Hunt with poisoned corpses and a beast that shouldn't exist. The ten year Night Hunt was supposed to be a joyous, exciting time. Except the warded land where the big tournament was held was 'faulty', sealing in a hundred and thirty eight disciples. Jiang Yanli could only panic on the other side, while her brothers already made to separate fought to get to each other, their every move televised on the tournament screens.

A-Xuan fought tooth and nail for the people with him. Ah-Cheng was so brave, defending all the disciples with him, most not even Jiang. He got them to safety, nearly at the cost of his life. A-Xian tried everything to break through those wards, slayed the most number of corpses and beasts, using musical cultivation and his sword.

In the end she got her brothers and fiance back, wounded and nearly dead.

Three days later Gusu nearly burned to the ground.

Five days later, her sick, wounded baby brother was sent to the Meishan Yu for treatment and she was disallowed to follow. A-Xian was made to leave for the Army, with tears in his eyes.

Every day was a war, the peace a prelude to another typhoon to break furniture and rage against the world- and her brothers paid that cost deeply. She understood now, that it was abuse but today? A year on, her parents were dead and their lives had forever changed.

How was it that such immense sorrow, such pain had also paved the way to a happier future? That was what she struggled with. The guilt of often wondering what life would be like if her parents were different, and the reality of them not being there was both horrible and... happier.

Sometimes Yanli thinks that her parents were dysfunctional but that they loved them in their own ways. A different way of loving. Another language, another culture - alien from them. In her more honest moments, Jiang Yanli wonders how either of them could have brought two of their children into this world, brought A-Xian home, and not love them.

She thinks of A-Yuan, thinks of how she had adored him from the first instance of meeting him and loved him fiercely by the next day. How that little boy had become one of hers, between one night and one morning. She cannot fathom how Madam Yu had been able to look at A-Xian at the same age and not love him instantly. How she could have whipped that same child into something approaching submission for no fault other being alive.

She thinks of her son and how if he never learns to cultivate, if he's not clever or a mimic of his father or uncles, how she would love and support him anyway, help find his path to happiness. Not beat him senseless and rip any shred of self-esteem he has away.

Her brothers had come to her, so often, too often, with contusions and lacerations, whip marks and tears they tried so hard not let fall. Come to her, for some way to make it better, for it to hurt less. Not the physical wounds, but the heartfelt ones.

Rising from her position, Jiang Yanli eventually left the Ancestral Hall, wandering out into the grounds of Lotus Pier, so beautiful at night beneath the clear skies, with the lights of the city in the distance and the purple glow of the shields around their home.