Safe In Your Arms

Chapter 33

Best friend

"So.... How's life?" Eva turned to me pagkatapos niyang pag masdan ang mga dumadaang sasakyan mula sa glass window.

We decided to have coffee together. Asaki excused himself and offered to get my things for me from the baggage counter. I didn't protest and let him. After all, I think I really need to talk to Eva. It's been awhile.

"Fine," I replied. Ang laki ng pinagbago niya. She became more prettier and matured. Mas naging sexy rin at maputi. Although her height was still the same, maliit parin siya. She was so different from the old Eva. 'Yung maingay at warfreak. In the past, her presence gave me so much comfort but now, she felt like a stranger to me.

Just someone I knew.

Hindi ko mapigilang maging emosyonal thinking about the milestones she achieved without me around. I could've been there for her but I wasn't.

"Ayaw ko nang magpa ligoy-ligoy pa. Where have you been, Elviña? I think I deserve to know kung bakit ka nawala nitong mga nagdaang taon 'di ba?" Napabuntong-hininga ako. I knew this day would come, that I would have to tell her my story. Still, I needed more time. Dahil pakiramdam ko, hindi ko pa kaya. Hindi ko pa kayang ikwento.

"Maraming nangyari, Eva. I know I should've told you anything before disappearing like that and I'm sorry. I just... I couldn't and didn't have the energy to do it." Hindi 'yon excuse sa bigla kong pang g-ghost sa kaniya and she has the rights to be mad. Maraming nangyari, sobrang dami na ayaw ko nang maalala.

She nodded her head. Her expression became softer, namumula na ang mga mata, holding back her tears. Lumunok ako at nag iwas ng tingin.

"How are you?" She asked after taking a sip from her coffee.

"I'm so mad at you, you know?" Napatingin ako sa kaniya. Pinunasan niya ang luhang tumulo at mapait na ngumiti.

"I was so worried. Bigla kang nawala, I couldn't even do anything to help you. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sitwasyon mo because you were hiding everything from us. You didn't trust us enough to tell us everything. Then, Genna started acting strange and disappeared too. Iniwan niyo ako. Hindi kayo nag paalam." Humikbi siya, covering her face. My heart ached watching how hurt she is. I wanted to hug her so bad.

"I hate you but I hate myself more kasi I told myself that I would never talk to you kapag nakita kita, pero now that you're here, I want to fucking hug you." I bit my lower lip, nakikinig lang sa kaniya. So heavy... Everything feels so heavy. Ang lahat ng mga nangyari sa nakaraan ko ay bumabalik sa 'kin.

"I'm sorry..." I reached for her hand. No words could explain how sorry I am and how my heart aches looking at her crying because of me.

"I was unfair," sabi ko. She's right. I called them my best friends but I kept secrets from them. Looking back, hindi ko alam kung bakit ganun ang naging mga desisyon ko but I don't regret it. I didn't want to drag them in my life's mess. I would rather suffer alone. It was the best choice. Kung sinabi ko sa kanila ang mga nangyayari, madadamay lang sila. Even without telling them anything, one of them got involved.

"I didn't want you to get involved. I was scared." Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin nang marinig 'yon.

"We're you're friends. I want to be included! Kahit ano pa 'yan," she said, mad.

"I'm sorry," yumuko ako. It was the only way to keep them safe.

"Bumawi ka!" Bumalik ulit ang tingin ko sa kaniya nang marinig 'yon.