Hard As It Is

Chapter 11

We fell into silence afterwards just smoking the rest of the blunt.

"I talk to yo girl this morning, she worried about you, because you haven't been at school?" Shaq questions me and I exhale the smoke. "I'll go tomorrow I've been busy with dealing, she knows this." I mentally sigh thinking on Tyasha. I felt bad knowing I was neglecting her but I was sacrificing to try and make it better for us in the long term.

I lean back on the bean bag staring at the ceiling. One of these days I'm a officially get us up out this hood, but for now I'm a deal my cards with the life I'm given.

...
My eyes sting as I blink them open staring up at the ceiling, the dim lights for a moment. When my eyes finally adjust,I look over to my side seeing Soul still sleeping.

I felt something cuffing my hand looking towards it shifting my body, I can see she was holding it with hers. I grasp hers softly, my eyes goes up seeing Amir still sleeping. Not only that but Souls other hand held his too.

I sit up letting go of her hand, it almost seem like an impossible task at first, but I had to use the bathroom first. I tried not to rock the mattress to much getting up. I look back to see Soul rolled over her head inches away from Amir's chest.

I stretch my limbs walking into the bathroom, I turn on the light closing the door. I turn on the water splashing some in my face a bit. I think on the events that's been happening the last couple of days.

And what Lorenzo said yesterday before fainting. What had he meant? Who am I a vision of? Could he possibly been talking about August? I shake my head that's impossible now that I think on it, August said something like that to me before.

He always had high expectations for me pushing me to go beyond my limit, as if he saw something or someone inside of me?

I open the mirror finding a freshly package of toothpaste and some toothbrushes.

I spit up the foam rinsing my mouth with the cold water. I think about the questions I asked myself, then my thoughts travel towards Amir and why I decided to form some kind of temporary partnership with him, mainly because I didn't want the cycle to repeat.

At least for now I don't have to worry about him doing anything irrational. What worries me right now is my own gang. Quez and Shaq, and how they must be loosing their minds.

How  would they react to all of this? I had no doubt they would trust me, but trusting your enemy? I don't know.

I know like damn well Amir still has doubts, but I'm grateful that he's at least being reasonable even if he still has it out for me.

I have no idea how to change that fact, and finding out that Donsilo who died by my hands, was Amir's Uncle didn't help this situation.

However I can't change what happened in the past, but what I can change it's what's going down in the present, to built a better tomorrow and future.

Even if in the end I still die.

After using the toilet I make my way out the bathroom to see Amir sitting up in the bean bag rubbing his eyes. His bottom lip stuck out to form a small pout. We stared at each other for a while.

I can't deny the nigga looked good in his white wife beater, and black Nike shorts.  He was one of those niggas that could wake up in the morning and look even folder than when they fell asleep.