I remember

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Friday 13th April 2018

Sienna POV

Me: Hey, have you got some time to hang out before I go back to uni on Sunday?

L: Yeah, I'm free this afternoon. I can pick you up around 2?

Me: Perfect, I'll see you later

I walk into the kitchen to find my mum sat in her reading chair, a book in her hand and a cup of tea by her side.

'Hey mum, I'm going out with Lando this afternoon, not sure what time I'll be back'

'Ok sweetheart, have fun' She looks at me and adds 'are you ok?'

I never could get anything past her, she reads me as well as the book she has in her hands.

'I'm not sure. Things between Lando and I seem distant at the moment, think I may have somehow upset him and I have no idea how'

'Did something happen in Bahrain?' She asks, inviting me to sit down in the chair opposite her.

I flop into the chair 'Nothing other than the whole Pierre thing, not that I can think of anyway, but clearly I've done something to annoy him or hurt him in some way' I sigh.

'I think you're just going to have to talk to him, darling, find out what's going on in his head. He might not tell you, but it can't hurt to ask. He may just be feeling under the pressure at the moment. I know from what your dad has said that there's a lot of discussions going on about a possible F1 seat for next year and a lot of that is going to rest on how this season goes for him. That's quite something for an 18 year old to handle. It may not be anything to do with you at all'

The doorbell rings which can only mean Lando has arrived.

'Good luck sweetheart' I hear my mum shout as I go to greet him at the front door.

Lando POV

I'm on edge as I walk up to Sienna's front door and ring the bell. We haven't really spent anytime together since she dropped the bombshell that she's seeing somebody, in all honesty I've been avoiding her and I've not been able to shake the feeling that she deliberately kept it from me.

She opens the door with a simple 'hey' and as usual she looks sensational, even if she is only in a pair of jeans and a hoodie along with her faithful converses. She will always be the best looking girl to me, no matter where we are and no matter who else is in the room.

'You ready to go?' I ask her.

'Yep, let me just grab my bag'

There's an awkward silence when we're in the car, despite the radio being on. It's almost as if we both want to say something but neither of us want to go first.

'So... are you excited about Baku in a couple of weeks?' she breaks the silence first

I inwardly groan, when have we ever made do with small talk. Normally we banter back and forth, flirt outrageously and laugh at something silly we've seen online. Something we never do though is make small talk.

Sienna POV

I inwardly groan at my attempt to start a conversation with him. Why does this feel so hard? Normally we can't stop talking and now I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing I don't want to say anything at all.

Lando obviously doesn't like the atmosphere either as he pulls the car into the car park next to Ouse Valley Park.

'Come on, lets go for a walk. We need to talk' I've never heard him so serious.

As we walk round, there's a physical distance between us as well as an emotional one. Normally we'd be walking arm in arm. I can't stand this anymore, I grab his arm and make him face me.

'Have I done something to upset you?'

Lando POV

I'm pondering my response to her question, how honest do I be? I guess at this stage I have nothing to lose by being completely open with her.

'When we were in Bahrain and you were having your 'catch up' with Pierre, you mentioned to him that you were seeing somebody. You kept that information from me. I knew you were dating around but you didn't say anything about having a boyfriend' I still haven't been able to clear those rather graphic images of them together out of my head. 'You know how I feel about you and yet you didn't think that having a boyfriend was something I needed to know, even though we were talking everyday. It feels like a deliberate omission on your part.'

Sienna POV

Deliberate omission? Maybe it was.

'I.... I didn't want to hurt you. Lando.... I was trying to figure out the best way to tell you that I'd met somebody. But it's not serious enough to be calling him my boyfriend, not yet.'

'Well, me overhearing you tell Pierre, was a great way of finding out' he says rolling his eyes.

'Is that why you've been avoiding me?' I ask

'I'm not sure I can take us being as close as we were whilst you're with somebody' he looks me in the eyes and I can see the hurt in them. 'I don't want to hear all those details' he says quietly. 'I can take that you don't want to be with me, although I still hold firm that at some point you'll change you're mind about that, but what I can't take is hearing about how happy you are with someone who isn't me. Maybe that makes me selfish but that's the way it is. Maybe we need to take a step back from our friendship for a while. I've got so much riding on this year that I can't afford to be distracted. And at the moment, you being with someone else is a huge distraction for me.'

Lando POV

As I drop her off at home after our walk and talk, I wonder if I've done the right thing. I know I'm going to really struggle not speaking to her all the time but maybe it's time I started to shield my heart a little. What if she doesn't ever change her mind? That's not something I've seriously considered before. The strength of my love for her always meant that I though that at some stage she'd feel it for me as well. But what if all it was ever going to be was unrequited love?

Sienna POV

I watch Lando's mini disappear down the drive and out of sight. Tears are rolling down my face, I feel like my best friend has just broken up with me. I'm going to miss talking to him everyday, the stupid little texts we send each other when we've seen or heard something funny. But maybe, this is something we both need. Only time will tell.