Sinner's Place {h.s}

fifty-seven.

Since Harry had brought up moving, I often wondered what life would be like if I left Madrid. He brought it up not once, but twice now, so of course the thought was lingering in my head. I loved my city, even with all the bad trauma attached to it, but thinking about leaving everyone behind made me sad. Not that I really ever caught up with the people I was close with.

I hadn't seen my dad since mom's funeral. I missed him. Sometimes he would text me to let me know he was staying more frequently with the grandparents. I felt guilt that I wasn't around like I should've been. I mean, fuck, I'm his kid. His wife–my mom, died. Regardless of how it happened, it still did, and he would never know how it happened.

I should be there for my dad, but I'm not. It's hard to be there for everyone that is grieving whenever I'm trying to put my life back together, build it, and keep it built. I desperately hoped that he knew that. Of course, I would text him back, but for the most part I would always end up pretending to miss his calls in fear that his voice would make me crumble and fragile all over again.

As for leaving Gracie, I could never. She's been there with me through everything and I couldn't ever leave her. I was never one to make new friends, I was almost twenty-two years old and making friends as an adult is nearly impossible, I couldn't imagine that moving to a whole other city would make things any easier, even if Harry was by my side to support me. I couldn't leave my best friend, that I knew. Wherever I go, she goes with me.

Vice versa.

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked, drifting me from my thoughts.

I blinked. We were in the car, he was graciously driving with one rare cigarette between his fingers, always meaning that he was nervous, and his eyes switching between the road and me.

"Hm?" I rolled my head on the headrest to look at him with a soft smile.

"What are you doing for Valentine day?" Harry glanced nervously out of the corner of his eye, taking a long draw from his cigarette before blowing it from his nose.

"Well, I don't know," I shrugged one shoulder, "There's this guy I really like, I'm hoping that me and him will do something fun."

"A guy, you say?" Harry chuckled lowly, a wavering smile on his lips as he looked to me for a mere moment, "Is he handsome?"

"Mhmm, very handsome. Very kind. I was waiting for him to ask me to do something with him." I teased as my leg crossed over the other, soothing my dress down before placing a hand on Harry's knee carefully. Just to touch him. Just for thought. Just because I really loved him and wanted to be close to him.

"Well," He took another draw before tossing the cigarette out the window, my eyebrows scrunching at the littering. I opened my mouth to comment on it, but Harry cut me off, "Will you be my Valentines?"

I placed my hand to my chest in faux shock, my jaw dropped as I laughed out breathlessly.

"Me? Oh, goodness, I don't know. I think I'm busy that day–" When I turned my head to Harry's, he had a slight frown on his lips, playful of course. I couldn't help but laugh, nodding my head to him in reassurance, "Of course. I want to."

"Perfect. Don't plan anything. I have something big for us," Harry shifted in his seat, now more relaxed at the confirmation, even if we were already dating and as if we didn't just talk about our future together a couple days ago.

"Oooh, you know I love surprises, but sometimes I really hate them," I leaned over softly, squeezing his knee softly, "So you should just tell me or I might have a panic attack."

"Are you using your anxiety to get me to ruin the surprise?" Harry snorted softly, giving me a dumbfounded look.

"Maybe." I whispered with a chuckle.