Chapter Three: hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

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I'm stepping off the train when my phone rings

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I'm stepping off the train when my phone rings. I might work in London, but I sure as hell can't afford to live there. My flat is nearly an hour away from the offices of Holden Investigations. I walk off the busy platform, packed with people getting on trains, and commuters heading to busy offices, whilst I'm just heading home, yawning widely. My head is full from this morning's chat with Lachlan's wife.

Lachlan's wife.

I find myself slipping between an exhausted tearfulness and a hollow numbness. Lachlan's wife wants me to investigate him. She wants me to find out if he'd been unfaithful. The world felt shifted. The ground was too unbalanced to walk on anymore. The whole thing had my stomach tightened into steel knots.

I slip my phone out of my pocket, exhaling when I see the name on the screen. I love this person, but I know why they're calling and I'm not sure I can deal with this conversation right now. But I answer anyway.

"Hey, Sophie."

I rush down the steps, out of the station and onto the busy street. Behind the collection of houses and shops, a tower block looms. My flat is nestled somewhere near the top.

"Anything?" Her voice is quiet, but booming in its desperation.

I bite my lip. Trying to focus on the street ahead and not on the question's implication. I can't stop myself, though. I look down at my right hand, see the dull purple of a stone in the ring I'd once given her. For her, its swirling violet power had changed everything. For me, it was just a ring.

"Nothing."

I hear her sigh and can picture the expression on her face. I want to comfort her, but my own pain is so raw and acute I can't form words around it.

"I'm sorry Lola. I don't know... I thought this would work. I was sure of it."

"I know. I know. You've done everything possible, Soph. I don't want you to feel guilty about this. Please don't."

"And the test results..."

"The same."

I cross the street, slipping between the cars stuck in traffic and then up the path darkened by the shadow of the tower. Awkwardly shifting the phone into my other hand whilst I scramble for my keys. Dripping spray paint covers the brick in colour. The metal door is dented and scuffed from where someone, drunk no doubt, has tried to kick it open. A couple of school kids slip out of the block entrance and I quickly slip through the door before it shuts.

"I knew it would be different. The Witch, you knew, she used Jinn magic. And I can't recreate that, even if I wanted to. But the magic I used... was the most powerful I've come across. Not wish magic, more like... miracle magic..."

The lift is broken again. I curse under my breath and head for the stairs. All fifteen floors of them.

"I know, Sophie. But... it's been nearly three months. No miracles. No magic. And it's... it's OK." The word grinds in my throat.

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