Christmas Lights

Chapter 7

"You're an asshole."

"Wait, what?"

It had been a week. Karina thought time away from Winter would lessen her feelings, but they only seemed to amplify them. She had never been like this before with another woman. Winter had reduced her to some lovesick idiot. She had gotten used to having Winter in her life. And now that she knew what it was like to finally kiss her and feel her body against hers, she knew she was in over her head. She was selfish; she wanted more. Fuck the consequences.

That said, she was pissed. Her ego was bruised. There were only so many times she could take being rejected by one person. She felt like she was being toyed with, regardless of how Winter actually felt. This wasn't something Karina ever dealt with and she was dealing with it poorly.

So she phoned Yeji for advice on what to do. Loyal, trustworthy Yeji. Who just called her an asshole. Maybe she told her side of story wrong. So she checked.

"No, you're an asshole, Karina," Yeji repeated.

Karina almost hung up. "Did I stutter? We kissed – we almost fucked – then she kicked me out."

"She's a doctor. She could lose her job. And all you've done is put her in this totally fucked up situation because you couldn't keep your pants on for three more freaking months. Of course she threw your horny ass out."

Well, when you put it that way. Still. Karina didn't like her tone.

"Yeji, talking to you is torture, why do I subject myself to this?"

"Because I'm smarter than you and you know I'm right."

Fair enough.

"Okay, Jolly Giant, what do I do?"

"Well, you wouldn't be putting yourself through this if you didn't like her on a deeper level, right?

But hell, you don't ever talk about her like she has another level. Literally all I know about her is that she's hot and that she wants to keep her job and career, which you seem hell bent on ruining for her." Yeji scoffed, then affected Karina's voice, "Ugh, girls who have morals are the worst."

Karina glared, wishing Yeji wasn't on the other side of the phone so she could smack her in person.

"That's not true."

"Oh yeah, you're right, I know she looks good in tank tops."

Karina thought back at all her conversations with Yeji about Winter. She thought about any time she'd really talked about the woman at all...

Well fuck. She was right.

"Fuck."

She couldn't even think of a reason why Winter would be interested in her. She hasn't been anything but...well, gross. Overt. She'd ignored every request Winter had to be just 'friends'. She pushed her.

Karina felt sick.

Yeji must've read Karina's silence; her tone softened. "So, Karina, if you're actually interested in her, you have to figure out a way to make this work."

Karina groaned, throwing herself onto her bed. "Of course I'm interested in her. She's smart, and nice to people, and kind of a huge dork, but she challenges me and puts up with my shit."

"Ah, so she does have a personality," Yeji said. "Look, I know you mean well and I'm sure she knows you mean well, but you suck at showing it. But I wouldn't be your friend if you weren't awesome and she probably wouldn't have kept you around if all you did was hit on her."

"So what do I do?"

"I'd back off, but knowing you, you won't."

Karina sighed. "No, probably not. I don't know."