Ateez One Shots

Seonghwa calming your PTSD

6:40 p.m.

You are working on your college assignment in study room. Your desk full of papers and files, a coffee mug and your favorite cookies. You check the clock and realize Seonghwa is late for your date. He said that he would come and pick you up at 6 but it's 40 minutes past that. He has never done something like that but he didn't even call you saying he will be late.

A vicious anxiety is creeping inside your head. Did he forget about you? Doesn't he care about you anymore? In your house, you never had the love you wanted. They always expected too much from you and you always felt nothing important to them. It broke you in ways nothing did. They were your family but their shouting, screaming still echoes in your head as you close your laptop and finish you coffee.

You start to pace around the corridor and time passes by.

You think about Seonghwa how he has always been there like a friend, like a supportive person. He is everything you have never had. He does everything for you that you didn't have. Even though you feel guilty for having doubts. What makes you feel guiltier is that he never accuses you for doubting his love because he knows you have severe depression and he always does his best to make you feel safe, make you feel like yourself around him.

As the good things he did for you calm you down, you notice the time that it's already 7:30 which makes you a little upset. You can call him but you wanted to see why isn't he calling you instead.

Suddenly the door bell ring and you run towards it. As you open it, you see Seonghwa standing looking a bit drunk. Your heart skips a beat seeing him like that, all sweaty and smiley.

"Baby, good evening. How have you been?" He says as he pulls you for a hug.

A sudden relief washes over you, at the same time you're confused.

"Where have you been?" You ask him as he releases you.

"We had a little after party in Yunho's house after practice. It was fun, you know. I missed you," he pouts.

You understand that he is not that drunk but he is still looking like a baby, a lost one.

"Come inside and get fresh," you tell him.

"Yes, ma'am," he says taking off his shoes.

As he starts going inside your room, you call him, "Seonghwa, aren't you hungry?"

"Nah, I've already had dinner," he says and gets inside the room without asking you if you have had anything for dinner, if you are hungry or not.

He has forgotten about the date. No, he has forgotten about you, just like that. You have started to annoy him, you think.
He has gotten tired of your traumatic behaviors, your wanting too much. He has started to neglect your dates with him. Then what? When will he ask for you to break up?

You feel angry and disgusted at the same time. No matter how much he tried to help you, you were not getting any better and he is avoiding spending time with you now. He is having fun with friends, not you.

"Baby, are you alright? You look a little red right now," Seonghwa says washing his hair, he looks refreshed now.

You look down, "Do you not love me anymore?"

"What?"

"Am I being too much of a burden nowadays? Should I leave your apartment?" The insecurities in your head sounded to painful as you utter them out loud.

"Baby, is it my fault? Have I done something wrong?" He asks coming closer to you.

You look at him with red puffy eyes, your tears fighting to come out, "Did you do something wrong? Can you ever? Wasn't it always me? Wanting too much from you?"