Wolves / Cregan Stark / Davina Targaryen

31. Save Your Life

Davina's eyes fluttered open, to the filtered morning sun shining through the curtains, the cold air blowing from outside her window. She blinked away the blur of her vision, still groggy from her deep sleep. Her chambers were particularly cold that day, but her bed was so warm. Davina closed her eyes again, willing herself a few more minutes of rest before the day began and they were up and at it getting Fury's tail ready. That was, until something warm and heavy flopped over her waist.

Davina's eyes shot open in realization. She held her breath. Fucking hell her children were all alone and she was fucking Northman. Looking down, there was a strong pale arm draped over her body. 

Glancing over her shoulder she saw him there, sleeping soundly. Cregan Stark. So sexy. She had hoped upon waking that their hours of feverish love making was just a dream. she had hoped it was a dream because then she wouldnt be a bad mother, enjoying herself in the north instead of using every ounce of her energy to get home.  Though clearly, it wasn't a dream. She cursed herself, how could she give into her desires so easily? Thats right because she was lonely and he was perfect. Easy.

Deciding it best not to wake the sleeping wolf, and deal with whatever expectations he had because of their relationship, it wasnt a relationship, but he would have some thoughts and they couldnt have anything more. They couldnt. She was the queen and he was far too young for her and maybe he would be okay with that, maybe he just wanted a fuck before she left, sure, because that was all it could be... 

So, she slowly, and carefully plucked his arm from her naked body. Slowly she inched herself to the edge of the bed, rolling out of bed and onto her feet. The flood creaked beneath her but she sighed in relief as Cregan didnt wake from his slumber. Looking upon his face now, he looked so peaceful, so content. She wanted to kiss him. It was strange really, she had been in love with Daemon for years and then married to Viserys and they were both the opposite of Cregan and yet maybe she had a type. Maybe tall, dark and handsome was her type. 

She took quiet steps to her wardrobe, she dressed quickly and quietly, throwing on a pair of riding pants and tugging on a shirt and a jacket. Davina gathered her hair roughly into a topknot, there was no time to properly sort out her bed head. She grabbed her shoes shoving one foot into the boot. While pulling on her second boot, her balance was quickly lost, she fell into the wall, almost dropping the boot to the ground. A grumble of pain shot through her when she connected with the wall. 

"Fucking fuck," she whispered as her hands fumbled for her boot.

"What are you doing?" Cregan questioned from the bed. She shoved her foot in her boot, snapping it down on the ground, no need to be quiet anymore, once her shoe was secure she looked to Cregan and he was sat up in bed the sheets bunched around his hips, his knees bent slightly and arms draped over his knees. Heavens he really was gorgeous, then he ran a hand through that thick black hair of his and Davina was ready to jump back into bed. 

She found herself quickly in a mental dilemma, she'd crawl straight back into bed, and wrap herself up in his body, let the scruff of his beard tickle her as they cuddled and fucked their way through the day but that couldnt happen. She had to stay focused. Fucking Cregan, although enjoyable, was not focused. 

"Are you sneaking out?" Cregan realized and his brows furrowed, there was clear hurt in his eyes and Davina  hated that she put it there. After all he did for her, helping her and Fury and all the glorious things he did with his tongue and- Heavens focus!- she hated to see him sad but she wasnt relationship material. Her many dead husbands proved that. 

"I erm... well you see..." Just spit it out damnit be a woman about this Davina commanded herself. Yes, yes I am." She swallowed the lump in her throat and moved to the bed, his eyes followed her, like a sad, hurt little wolf, a puppy, a baby wolf, Gods she was the worst human ever. Why did she feel so awful about this? They had not promised anything yet a part of her ached at that wounded look in his eyes.

"Why?" He asked eventually. That silence between their words hurt to, now she was nauseous, she never should have crossed this line. Davina bit at her lip, looking anywhere but at him, she couldn't take the way he was looking at her. "So last night... it didn't mean anything?" Cregan whispered and Davina had to tell him it didnt. Even if it hurt him. Because she was leaving soon enough. 

"I... I don't know..." She couldnt be so cruel.  "-in the moment it was... I don't think there was a deeper meaning to it, there doesnt have to be something more..." She admitted, fidgeting with her hands.

"You don't think, or you don't want there to be..." Cregan countered and when Davina didnt answer he understood. "Right, I'm sorry. Sorry for thinking... lets just get dressed and forget it ever happened." Cregan agreed roughly. 

"Cregan, you know I like you." Davina offered. 

"Do you?" Cregan countered. "I thought so but now I dont know." 

"I like you." Davina assured. "But there are so many reasons this wont work, for starters I have a family, I have children older than your sister," Davina remarked. 

"And you could be old enough to be my mother? Is that where you are going?" Cregan sassed. 

"Hey, hey now I'm not that old." Davina corrected. Cregan shook his head as he put his pants on. "But my eldest is 19, almost 20... Sara is Jace's age...  You are not that much older than Aegon... its... but I'm the queen and I belong in the south with my family, you are warden of the north, your place is in the north in winterfell." Davina reminded him. 

"So if I wasnt me and you werent you, we would be great." Cregan mused. 

"When you put it like that." Davina teased. 

"Davina!"

"Plus I'm kind of at war with my twin and my niece slash daughter slash-" Davina went on. "-manipulative bitch that I want to rip her head off... its a dangerous time for romance." 

"It's dangerous." Cregan agreed. "I know it  is because you dropped from the fucking sky davina and I rescued you." Cregan reminded her. 

"I have to save my family from Daemon, from Rhaenyra... I have to end this with them so I can... so they can have a good life." Davina remarked. "Please say you understand... Cregan?"

"I know you think we can't be together, but can't you respect me enough to let me make my own decision? I know there'll be risks but I want to face them with you. It's wrong that we should be only half alive... half of ourselves. I am falling in love with you Davina." Cregan declared.  "So here I am... standing in your doorway. I have always been standing in your doorway waiting for you to really see me."

"I saw you last night." Davina countered softly. 

"ANd now you are ready to get up and leave again... Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?"