Glass Houses || [Noah Sebastian]

31. Glass houses

My hands trembling as I reach out and pick up the cold metal necklace. Feeling it against my skin as hot tears trickle from my eyes. I reach for the note next, unfolding it to see a full page littered with her neat and bubbly writing.

Noah,

First I want to say thank you. Thank you for, even if only for a short while, showing me what it feels like to breathe again. You saved me without even realizing you were doing so. I wasn't living before you, just alive. You lit the fire within me that had unknowingly faded long ago. I appreciate every moment we spent together. Those have been some of the best memories I have ever created. You'll live on forever in my mind, our stories will always paint beautiful pictures of the happiest part of my life. I can't wait to retell them to anyone willing to listen one day.

I bet you're confused, and for that I'm sorry. I don't know when you'll be seeing this but by any point I'll be long gone from there. Please. Don't bother to look for me, I don't want to be found.

My new friend Nat, or Natalie as you know her, has informed me about the two of you. She's beautiful, by the way. You deserve to have a bombshell like her on your arm. I can't say I'm surprised, but more so feeling blindsided by it all. I should have prepared myself for the inevitable outcome a little better. I knew this was coming but tried to turn a blind eye to the reality. I just never expected to be hurt like this, it cuts deeper than anything else I have ever experienced. But don't blame yourself, it's my fault for getting too comfortable in what was so clearly a one sided thing. You were always too good for me. Too out of reach. I never deserved an ounce of the compassion and generosity you gave me. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one for you, I desperately wanted you to be the one for me.

Please tell the guys I'm sorry, especially Folio. He was the friend I never knew that I needed. I never planned on betraying, or hurting him like this. Tell Nana I love her so much, and I'm sorry for breaking her heart.. again.

I can't continue to live in your home. Not without feeling an unholy amount of pain that stains my heart. I wanted so desperately for this to be my happy ending. But it's not. I hope you get everything you ever wanted out of life, if anyone deserves it then it's you. Please continue to make your story one worth telling. Continue to spread your light to the world and share your love with the people who deserve it the most. I wish all of the recent events could make me hate you, it would make this a lot easier. But I don't.

I love you, forever

-Roni

My head doesn't stop spinning in circles as I read over the note a million times. The paper is stained with her mascara tainted tears and mine have fallen along side of hers. They mix, causing some of the black ink to smear. The last thing that joins us as two.

   This can't be real. It has to be some sick joke that's being played on me. Natalie and I were never anything romantic, but especially not when Veronica came back into my life. I broke things off with her for good, laying it all out on the table before I left for tour. I planned to come clean about everything after I came back. I couldn't unload so much news on her and then leave. She didn't even give me the chance to explain, she just left. Again. She fucking walked away like she always does. Why would she do this to me, again? I was getting comfortable with the idea of a future with her, seeing where things take us. Maybe a house , a ring, a little bundle of joy. But that's all a pipe dream now. I love her so fucking much, so much I can feel my heart crumbling to pieces as it rattles in my chest. I feel a sharp pain break out within it, as if my heart had been ripped out. My mind was clouded with thoughts of what could have been, and my eyes were stinging with more unshed tears. I feels like drowning in a sea of emotions, and I cant find a way out. My heart shattering into a million pieces, and I don't think I can ever put it back together again. Each heave of air I suck in sending a stabbing pain through my entire body. Fuck.

I hate that I love her.

    I notice a small picture seating neatly under where the note laid, instantly I know what is it. A picture of the two of us from a beach day we had. The sun casting it's vibrant glow from the distance, causing a beautiful lens flare to break out across the camera. It had the worst lighting ever, the sun so bright we both looked washed out and dull, but I don't think I've ever loved a picture more. Her blue eyes sparkling under the warm rays of the sun, dark hair fanning around her sweet face. It was a perfect day, just the two of us and the serenity the empty beach provided. I recall it all so perfectly, it was the first day I realized I was falling in love with her. Watching as she let the ocean breeze whirl around her midnight locks. The way she smiled every time the cold sea come to kiss the earth and washed over her feet. I think that was the widest I had seen her smile in so long, finally relaxing after years of being caged. She was finally free.

The hot tears don't stop as I continue to gaze down at the picture, wondering what I could of done differently to have changed the outcome.

"Hey did you find her?" Folio asks breathlessly as he walks in the door. Eyes bulging out of his head as he sees the empty room that still lingers with her smell.

Empty room. Empty heart.

He watches as the tears roll from my eyes and onto my open hand, not saying a word but entering the room slowly. He finally sees what's left of her, letting out a small gasps as everything begins to register.

I let out a loud scream, not being able to hold it in anymore as I stand to my feet and connect my fist with the drywall to my left.

"She's gone"

——

   AND THAT IS IT.

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? HONESTLY I CANT EVEN PUT INTO WORDS HOW MUCH I LOVED WRITING THIS FOR YOU GUYS. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU LEAVING COMMENTS, VOTING, AND LOVING MY WORK MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. IVE ALWAYS HAD A PASSION FOR WRITING AND I JUST CANT BELIEVE I REACHED THIS MUCH SUCCESS WITH MY WORDS. OVER 9K READS. THATS AMAZING. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KEEPING ME GOING.

  UNTIL NEXT TIME
-XXJ