Awkward hugs

Chapter One

"Dude, I didn't know you smoked." Said Dean surprised looking at castiel. Castiel took the cigarette out of his mouth. "It lowers stress." Cas sighed not wanting to look at the taller boy. He didn't have to explain himself to him. He knew what he was doing.

"I don't care, just didn't peg you as the kind of guy who would smoke. Mr. Uptight-know-it-all." Dean laughed leaning on the wall next to Castiel.

"I'm not...." Cas sighed again, "Please don't call me that, Dean." He said looking over at the boy. He was tired and exhausted from school and home. This was his escape and Dean was ruining it.

"Stop being such a whiny bitch." Dean didn't understand what's this guy problem was. To him he was just an awkward nerd with pretty blue eyes and messy black hair. Damn he didn't talk much to him, but he did like to think about him at night. Something about him made Dean crazy. Dean was a high school jock who got all the girls. He could even get a guy if he wanted. Maybe it was the fact he couldn't get Castiel that made Dean want Him.

Castiel had enough today. A couple of kids decided it would be funny if they tormented him in the hallway. He needed to be alone. He especially did not need someone who was going to make fun of him more. He needed his escape. He walked away ignoring Dean. He put the cigarette back in his mouth the smoke stinging his already tearing eyes.

"Yeah go cry home to mama!" Dean called after him. Dean regretted that as soon as the words flew out of his mouth. He liked this boy and he was making fun of him. He didn't really understand why he said it, but it was to late to take it back or apologize.

Castiel tuned around his cheeks flamed with anger, "at least I have a mother to go home to." Cas spat at Dean. Cas didn't care anymore he hoped that hurt Dean like a knife in his back. He never said anything that cruel to someone, but honestly it felt great. The tears in his eyes were replaced with a wave of rage. It was now deans turn to have his eyes well up with tears and that they did. His mother died when he was younger and he missed her everyday. Dean knew what he said wasn't very nice, but what he said this cruel? He blamed himself for this too just like he always did. Dean stood there mumbling silent stutters. Looking like a child who was just pants in the middle of the cafeteria. Castiel started to realize what he said and the regret started to settle in. He sometimes forgot that he wasn't the only one that could be hurt. "I'm-I'm-sorry Dean....I didn't mean to do that..." Castiel shoved the cigarette in the palm of his hand. It hurt. It burned. Once the cigarette stopped hurting him he dropped it on the ground and covered his hand with his long sleeve. Dean was now looking away tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Get it together!" Dean could hear his father scream in his head. Dean breathed a shaky breath turning back towards Cas. He wiped the snot from his nose with his worn leather jacket. Dean tried to form coherent words, but still his voice did not carry. Castiel walked over to Dean and took him into his arms. How awkward this hug may have been Dean didn't resist it. No one has ever really been kind to him the way Castiel was being now. Yes of course Castiel hurt Dean, but Dean forgot about what he said as soon as Cas touched him. He was warm and had that stale cigarette smoke lingering on his clothes. Dean took a deep breath and buried his head into castiels dirty coat. He felt like he finally had a friend through this awkward hug. It didn't really make sense to Dean, but he welcomed the feeling.

Castiel hated what he had said when he saw how much it hurt Dean. That angry Castiel was not the person Castiel liked, but he feared. Living inside him like a dark creature waiting to escape. Always there, but not always hiding. Castiel struggled to keep it in everyday, but this awkward hug made him forget the darkness. He held Dean for a long time before he realized that Dean had either passed out or fell asleep. Cas sat down and held the sleeping boy close to him. It finally felt like a home. That maybe Dean was more of a pretty boy jerk, but a broken boy putting up this pretty boy front. Cas broke the front and Dean relived Cas of his darkness.

Castiel woke Dean up after awhile. "Th-thanks Cas." Dean quietly thanked him not wanting to move.

"I am sorry for what I said Dean I-" Cas was cut off by Dean.

"It's fine, just don't do that again." Cas nods and stands up helping Dean off the ground.

"Dean--would you...like to have dinner at my house? My parents aren't home and I would really enjoy your company tonight...." Cas trailed off. Dean smiles a little.

"Hell yeah. I'm starving!" Dean said as if none of that happened. Castiel smiled and he walked Dean to his house. Finally Cas had a friend. And so did Dean. Maybe everything would be okay.

*****