Extra Credit | Complete

38

"I don't owe you shit."

Those five words were like a blow to the gut. I took an involuntary step back as if he had physically hurt me. "Do you really feel that way?"

He didn't respond. The second glove he was wearing slid off. He held it in his hands.

"Then can you at least tell me why you've been ignoring my calls? Did you change your mind about wanting to be exclusive?" I swallowed. A lump began to form in my throat. "If you did, that's okay. I just need to understand where your head's at."

He scoffed. "I don't even know where my head is at."

The declaration caused an inkling of hope to shoot through my veins. "Can we talk through it? Maybe if you talk it out we can—"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Something was wrong. I felt it deep within me. Lincoln could be cold. He was distant when we had first met, but we were strangers then. His walls had shot back up, grander and more sturdy than they were when he wanted nothing to do with me or tutoring. That wasn't something that just happened.

"Is everything okay at home?" The question was quiet. I knew his family was a sensitive topic and I didn't want to unearth anything too painful. But if something was wrong with Sadie or Amelia, I wanted to help.

Lincoln bristled. "You don't need to know everything, Calista."

"You're right." I stared at a speck on the rubber flooring. "But don't you think we're past the point where we keep things from each other?"

"I don't want to make things more complicated than they are right now," Lincoln admitted as he fiddled with his glove. "You don't need to check in with me. I can take care of things on my own."

I nodded in acknowledgement. "I know you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. I've seen what you do for your mom and Sadie. But would it be so bad to have someone look out for you for a change, even if it's only once in a while?"

Lincoln was back to being silent. He leaned up against the side of the ring, taking a drink from his water bottle. The quiet between us stretched out. Clanking of gym equipment reverberated throughout the open room. The questions I had for him swirled on my tongue. I had so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to know, and he was back to shutting me out.

"Was everything you said to me that night a lie?" I must have sounded as hurt as I felt because Lincoln's dark eyes darted up to meet mine. "Were you being honest about any of it?"

"About my childhood being crap? What would I gain from lying to you about that? Sympathy? That's the last thing I want from you."

"How about the other thing?"

"What other thing?" Genuine confusion painted Lincoln's face.

I picked at the dead skin around my thumb. "About it being your first time."

"I didn't lie about anything."

"Then what are you hiding?" I said, my voice cracking. I hated how weak I sounded. "Why are you pushing me away?"

Lincoln's tongue brushed against his bottom lip. "Nothing. I just need some space."

So much for us being exclusive.

The vague responses were beginning to get to me. Frustration built as I looked around the gym. As if the brick walls would have the answers I was searching for. "Does this have anything to do with what I saw last night?"

"Drop it." His tone was so sharp it pierced through me.

I sent him a curt nod, tears springing to my eyes. I tried to swallow down the vortex of emotions. "Right, well let me know when you figure everything out."

I knew we weren't anything official, but whatever this was between Lincoln and I hurt more than a break up. A lone tear slipped out, trailing down the side of my face. I swiped at it. There was no way I was going to cry in front of him. I had already made a fool of myself by showing up and demanding answers I didn't get. I turned away, shutting down the conversation and trying to hide the evidence, but I wasn't quick enough.

Lincoln's hand snaked around my wrist. The fabric around his palm was unfamiliar against my skin. "Please don't cry."

I cleared my throat, refusing to give him the eye contact he wanted. "Whether you think we're friends or not, I care about you and I'm not going to apologize for it. But I can't sit around and watch you get hurt."

"I know," he breathed. "I don't want you to."

Another tear slipped down my cheek when the heat from his hand disappeared.

Whatever Lincoln and I had was officially over. 

* * * * *

author's note:

My heart hurts. I'd love to know your thoughts! Who do you think is going to cave first?

I don't have much to talk about today. Just know that I'm busy planning my next book and it will be launching here this summer! I'm so excited to share more with you all. Keep an eye out in the next couple of weeks ;)

Happy reading!