If I Knew it All Then

spare a minute for your favourite gryffindor

The atmosphere in Potions class was dark and gloomy, with everybody huddled together in small groups, whispering among themselves. There was only one thing every group had in common, which was the cautious, but regretful glances they threw at the table where Natsai was sitting alone.

"She must be so worried . . ."

"I can't believe it!"

"I'd be holed up in my room if I was her!"

At first glance, Natsai looked busy reading her notes, unphased by all the chatter and attention of her classmates. As you got closer to her, though, you saw the page she was opened up to was blank. She didn't acknowledge you in the slightest as you slid into the chair beside her, too busy staring off into space. It made you all the more worried, because she was never one to be caught so unaware of her surroundings.

"Natsai?" You asked quietly, resting a hand on top of hers.

Your touch was what finally announced your presence to her. She jolted in her seat like you just woke her from an open-eyed nap, turning to you with a few surprised blinks.

There were a few minutes to spare before Professor Sharp would arrive for class, and you intended to use them to the fullest. It was nearly impossible to have a private conversation in the middle of a classroom, surrounded on all sides by your peers, but you did what you could to create a safe space to talk. Your back was the best makeshift shield you had at your disposal to dissuade a few sets of prying eyes and their accompanied eavesdropping. "What's going on?"

"It's nothing, really." It was painfully obvious to you that Natsai was feeling uncomfortable, but the prideful Gryffindor inside of her was rearing its head. She'd never choose to burden another person with her problems as long as she could help it. But you weren't just another person to Natsai like the vast majority of your more gossipy classmates were. She could tell as much after a few seconds of prolonged eye contact, giving in with a defeated sigh. "There have been some sightings of Harlow in Hogsmeade again."

The sound of Harlow's name, even whispered beneath somebody's breath, caused a distinct and chilling quiet to course through the classroom. The only man you hadn't been able to defeat or lock behind bars last year. Everybody knew he was responsible for the terrible thing that happened to Natsai. Just because she recovered didn't mean the wound was completely healed.

"Oh, no . . . Natsai, I'm so sorry." You squeezed her hand a little. "The police must still be after him, so he won't be a free man much longer."

"I want to believe that, but they weren't very helpful last year, were they?"

You understood her frustrations. They were enough to drive her into acting alone last year, but she was unlikely to take the same risk after what it nearly cost her. As much as she wanted to see Harlow pay, and to perhaps even make him pay herself, she was shaken to her core by the thought of him coming for her again.

"If you ever need to go to Hogsmeade, just let me know. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

She flashed a grateful smile. The friends who knew about your ancient magic unconditionally trusted in your ability to protect them. It made it that much harder for you to tell them the truth in fear of disappointing them, especially when the most genuine smile you had been able to get out of Natsai was linked to the reliability of your ancient magic.

What was the harm in letting her believe you still had it, if it made her feel a little safer every time she went to Hogsmeade?

"Settle down." Professor Sharp's quipped tone immediately silenced the class.

From across the room, you briefly caught Sebastian's eye, only this time it was him who looked away first. There was no reason for as small a gesture as that to make your heart drop into your stomach, but it did. Whether you liked it or not, Sebastian knew the truth about your ancient magic now, meaning he was the only other person in the room who also knew that you just lied to Natsai.