Heal the Heart

23.

Beck offered to drop me back to the dorms. And then I almost lost it when he said he'd driven here. I was ready with my long, winding tirade of how he needed to take better care of himself and not drive, but before I could let a word out, he shoved his phone in my face. I read Dr Nazmi's text-approval and hmmphed.

"You really think I'd go against you and your ridiculous list of don'ts?" he said, stuffing his hands inside his jacket pockets.

"You did mention your interest in being spanked."

Beck's eyes almost bulged out of his head. "Is that still on the table? Fuck, I knew I shouldn't have been this obedient. Mind if we go down to the rink and take a few laps?"

"Try it. Dr Nazmi will be ready with her paddle."

"Dude. Ew. Don't put that image in my head."

I laughed. No, I howled. Doubled over with deep-down-my-belly laughs. When was the last time I'd laughed this hard? When was the last time I'd laughed this much in one day? "Your face! Beck!"

Magenta consumed his cheeks and ears. "Go take a shower." He forcefully thrust my duffel bag into my arms. "Don't make me leave without you."

"Aye, aye cap'n."

I took what could be classified as the fastest shower in the mankind of showers. I didn't even have the time to put my head down and think about global warming before I was rushing out, with my damp hair splashing tiny water droplets here and there.

Beck was in the parking lot, his upper body stuck inside the passenger seat of a dark grey Honda Civic. When he popped out, his arms were filled with chocolate wrappers, styrofoam cups, crushed aluminium foils and a large bag of half-eaten chips. "What?" he said when he caught me staring at the bundle. "I never proclaimed to be the cleanliest person on the planet." He strode over to the trashcan and let his bundle of trash fall into it, and then punched the overflowing pile down.

The drive went by with us singing off-key to Hey Jude and when it was time to make the turn towards the university dorms, I found myself stopping Beck.

More seconds. More minutes. More hours.

If I didn't get them, I'd demand them.

When was the last time I was this exhilarated? My muscles, my bones, straight down to every atom that I was made up of buzzed with an electricity I couldn't place. I felt like I was on top of the world. Nothing could go wrong. Not today. And today I wanted Beck.

"Don't feel like going home just yet," I said, my hand finding his on the steering wheel.

The magenta was back, sneaking up from his neck and moving upwards. His watery eyes gleamed with surprise. I almost told him to stay still while I captured him on paper right there with the red sun behind him as a halo.

A soul-crushing honk from behind us broke the moment and dissolved the trance we were sucked into.

Beck stepped on the accelerator and switched off the blinker, going straight instead of taking the next right. "Guess you're coming to mine, then."

~

I was the first to get out of the shower. Beck offered up his en suite so I could take a proper hot shower with good pressure, while he went to raid Tristan's en suite for all his fancy-schmancy shower supplies, as he put it.

With soft steps, I padded into his room, my hair wet and droplets forming dark spheres on my T-shirt. His bed was unmade, duvet bunched up and pushed to one side on the queen size. He seemed like the person who slept with one leg in and one leg out. A pile of clothes sat in one corner of the room. I could see him pick his daily wear from there instead of the closet that I doubted would be mostly empty.