Broken - Carlos Sainz

7

The first day was just chilling and not doing much.

Today on the other hand, is different. Well not that much different as yesterday, but we will go to my parents for dinner and boardgames.

I get woken up by a loud bang. It sounds like my whole kitchen colided and crashed onto the floor.
I quickly get out of bed and rush down the stairs. "Did I woke you?"

"What does it look like?" I chuckle and relax knowing that the kitchen is allright and that Carlos is alright.

"I wanted to make breakfast. You still like an omelet?" He glances over at me to see if it is actualy allright that he is making breakfast.

"That's really sweet and yes, I still like it." I have a coffee machine with fresh coffeebeans. Coffee has to be good. I can't start a day without a good cup of coffee. I get the right amount of beans and grind them to make the coffee from. I place it all in the machine and turn it on. "You better like this coffee." I tease once it is done.

Carlos happily takes the cup and takes a sip. He closes his eyes and relaxes for a moment. "This is really good." He mumbles.

"It was expensive as fuck, but it's worth every penny." I say as I take a sip and glance at the pan where he is making the eggs in. It isn't going well, it looks like the coffee relaxed him to much. I quickly get the pan off the stove and laugh as I shake my head. "Some things never change." Doing two things at the same time has always been a problem. To both of us. Ofcourse some things are perfectly fine, like listening to music while running down the beach. But cooking and doing something else, is not really a great combination.

The room is filled with the sound of Carlos his laugh. His laugh is making me laugh. We both have a laugh what makes others laugh even when it isn't funny. Tory used to 'hate' that. He wouldn't be able to stop laughing until we both went out of the room. The moment we looked back at eachother we would both die in laughter again. I miss those times.

"Please move out of the kitchen." I laugh wiping my tears away and rubbing my sore cheeks from all the laughing.

"I will try again tomorrow." Ofcourse he will try tomorrow. Carlos can cook, he knows how to make a good dish. Only this time it didn't work out.

P.O.V Carlos

It's safe to say that she got me distracted. Her apperance made it hard to focus on other things.

I know she has had a hard time the past years. I know she isn't sleeping well, because of her brother and because of her ex. Charles told me that she would wake up screaming and covered in sweat. She has had therapy, I believe she still has therapy but the nightmares are still a problem.

"How did you actualy sleep?" I lean against the counter while my eyes are fixated on hers. Lisa never mentioned anything about her sleeping to me.

Her deadly glare is making me chuckle for a moment. That is already enough of an answer. "You can wake me up when something isn't right. I don't mind."

Lisa sighs and places the eggs on both our plates. "Look, I know the guys must have told you about my sleeping issue. But it's allright. I am only scared to fall asleep. That's all." The look on her face shows off that she is upset.

I frown and shake my head a little. 'Only scared to fall asleep' that's not nothing. But the night we end up in the same bed, she didn't woke up and in the car it was also allright. Was it because of the alcohol?

I take the plate and start eating, leaving this subject for now.

After breakfast I take a quick shower and get dressed into something more casual. Because wearing my sport outfit while meeting her parents isn't a verry great idea. I am sure they wont mind it, but I want to make a good impression.

Lisa is sitting on the back porch with a photoalbum in her hands. "Hey, can I join you?" She could want to be alone at the moment. Which is only fair. This is her house and with her brothers passing coming up I can imagine she wants to be alone.

The moment I speak, she looks up and her gorgeous emerald green eyes meet mine. They are a little glassy, it seems like she is quite emotional. She flashes me a smile I have rarely seen. It is a combination of happiness, sadness, fear and surprisement. She nods and pats the spot next to her.

I take a seat and glance over to the book in her hands. A smile creeping onto my lips when I see the picture of her brother and I together in a camping chair at the karting track. "I cherish these moments in my heart." Lisa whispers as her finger slides over her brothers face. "And he was already wearing that stupid buckethat." She chuckles to obviously lighten the mood.

Lisa actualy gave Tory the buckethat. She was on holiday with her mom to Terschelling. Her mom is Dutch and her father is Australian. She had found the hat in a souvenir store at first as a joke. Tory hated it at first but to annoy his sister he would keep wearing the hat and even adding more hats into his collection.

"He hated the hats, he only wore them to annoy you." I chuckle a little while she flips the page. "But eventualy he did fell in love with the hats. I know he had alot of them. Everwhere he went, he got a new one." I wonder out loud.

I look at her and gently wipe the escaping tear away. It hurts me to see her crying. It makes my heart feeling heavy. I caused the pain she is in. I caused the nightmares. She lays her head down onto my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her. "I am so sor.." I say while she cuts me off. "Don't ever say that again. We already talked about it. Yeah I blamed you and that was wrong. It was wrong place at the wrong time. Yeah I miss him alot, but he will always be with me. With us. I bet he is smiling crazy right now to see us sitting here like this. He loved you as a friend. He hated it when the both of you got in an argument. He would annoy me with it, but that was all okay. I would keep telling him how he must make it up and just talk to you." She smiles widely, wiping away her escaping tears.

Her words are the ones I had to hear, again. Yes we already talked about it, but I can't stop blaming myself. I am the one who crashed into him. But it is like she has said. It was wrong place at the wrong time. The weather was aweful that day, that didn't help. The barriers where placed wrong, that also didn't help.

"You know, I buy a buckethat everywhere I go. It helps me with keeping his memory alive. It also helps with giving it a place in my heart and mind." She adds.

"I do the same, I have a whole collection of buckethats. I even wear them at important races. Which annoys the team, but it helps me." My voice is cracky and I didn't even notice how some tears are running down my cheeks. Lisa her touch is soft and gentle. She wipes the tears away like my face is made of glass. I close my eyes under her touch and look at her through my lashes when she moves her hands away.