I want to be him {Mikasa × f!reader}

64: Afraid

He swallowed all of his words. How can the love of his life be in so much pain because of him? It rocked around in his brain, echoing in his mind for eternity. "I... I was feeling bad about everything and... I don't really know why or how it happened- and I know that's not fair, but the moment her lips touched mine I... craved yours, 'Min. I think that's the day I came to the realization that I liked you- I liked men not women." Armin inhaled a tight breath, his gaze still on the cement as Eren's words settled in the air. "I know that it was wrong, kissing Mikasa even though Y/n liked her, but... I needed the closure- I may not be normal, but there's a part of me that is normal for that- I like you, Armin, and that's okay." His voice was wavering. Armin knew the moment his eyes left Eren's, he'd win. He'd still be his boyfriend no matter what. And Armin was okay with that.

Maybe it was selfish to stay with Eren and keep the kiss a secret. No, it was something he wouldn't want you to do to him, though every way he looked at it, he craved Eren. Armin couldn't live without the brunette and just the thought of not having the one thing he's wanted for the past decade is something he's not willing to forfeit for a friendship.

He somehow ends up hugging Eren and it's too comforting. It makes sense that's when you came to get them, the guilt breaking his bones the moment your happy smile met him. "Hisu wants Armin. ...You okay giving him away?" Your chuckle is too sweet, oblivious. Eren lets his grip loosen at your question, a forced chuckle leaving him. "Yeah..." If you saw his teary eyes- both of their teary eyes, you didn't comment on it. You just took Armin's hand and led him into the house one last time. "So, I have something to tell you." Your voice seems like the only noise in the world, the music and yelling suddenly gone. It's his heart thundering against his chest and your soft, too-calm voice. His mind is going to explode. "Mikasa and Yelena fucked me." You squeal, waiting for your best friend's reaction. He's frozen.

Oh.

He's also afraid.

Your face scrunches confusedly. "'Min." You're using his nickname so innocently, yet he can't help the bile piling in his throat. He has to tell you. You have never kept something like this from him and you've always supported him with Eren. "Is everything okay?" His tongue is broken, he realizes. And sadly, as his mouth opens to spew broken truths, he's interrupted. "Ew Zeke, you smell like hell, go away!" Zeke shrugs his arms over you and Armin, a chuckle forcing its way out of his lips. "What about you, little girl?" You have half a mind to smack him, but Armin's voice reassures you. "Can we help you? And stop saying perverted things." Zeke rolled his eyes. "Why don't you two join us?" Before either of you could ask what he meant, Zeke walked quickly, shoving you and Armin on the living room couch.

Heavy toxic smells drowned the air more than before. "Alright, they are here- Let's get started!" Y/n adjusted her seat on the couch. Surveying the room she could see everyone better. Jean and Marco were drunkenly in love next to Ymir and Historia on the floor, cuddling. Mikasa was talking with Hitch and Annie, obviously ignoring you, and Yelena and Peick were sitting on the floor, corner of the couch resting against Yelena's shoulder. Zeke sat next to you, and it began. "Alright, what's the next game?" "'Zeke stops being a dick' I think that's-" "Truth or dare?" Zeke interrupted you, smiling. Nods went across the room. "It's settled, Y/n you're up first." Your jaw clenches as you lift a brow. "Why me?" "Truth or dare?" You glared at Zeke, answering, "Truth."

"Is it true you and Mikasa are dating?" You deadpan, a scoff bubbling on your tongue as you reply, "Obviously." He nodded, grabbing his drink from the side table. "Now, your turn." You leaned into Armin, trying to feel safe and ignoring the way he tensed from your tiny touch. "Truth or dare?" "Truth." "Is it true you're homophobic?" His brows furrowed. "The fuck?" "Are you homophobic, Zeke?" He scoffed. "Why would you ask that?" Your face scrunched. "I don't know, maybe the fact that you're dating some dude but haven't apologized to Eren yet-" "Y/n calm down." Armin's voice rocks into your head, and before you can bite back, Zeke starts again, "You hold too many grudges, Y/n. Jean, you're up." Jean glanced at the older, giving a questioning look. "Huh?" "Truth or dare, Jean?" Armin asked, motioning to your irritated state.

He nodded. "Dare." Before Armin could answer, a very drunk Reiner cut in, "I dare you to do seven minutes in heaven with Marco." Jean glanced at his boyfriend. Silence lapped the air before Hith got out her phone. "Seven minutes is barely anything- Just talk or makeout. Annie and I did that when it was our turn." Annie quickly pinches Hitch's arm and after a shriek, Marco and Jean make their way to the closet.

"That's boring-" "Zeke why can't we just move on?" His mouth opened before his eyes drifted to the tall brunette walking in. "Ah, perfect, Eren- Yelena you're up next." Eren's eyes stayed on yours for a second until they split to the floor, his body sitting next to Mikasa. "Oh... um, truth." "Is it true you cheated on me with Y/n?" Your eyes blew wide like saucers and before you said anything, a loud laugh entered the room. Historia smacked the floor as she tried to talk. "I- How are you this oblivious, Zeke? Y/n and Yelena were fucking the moment your fake dating shit started." The corner of your lips curved upward and it would've stayed that way if not for the discomfort on Mikasa's face. You craved to reach over and touch her, call her name, but you were too far away. Or too oblivious, just like Zeke.

"Gods, the question wasn't even for you, Historia." "Watch your fucking mouth, Zeke," Ymir's words sounded in the room, everyone stiffening. "Well... Yes, we used to fuck... while we were dating, if you could call it that." Yelena sighed, feeling Peick's arm wrap around her waist. She stiffened, and you could tell. "Okay, can we get better questions? I volunteer Annie as tribute. Annie, truth or dare?" The blonde's face scrunches. "I'm not-" "Truth it is. Have you ever beaten up someone so severely that they had to go to the hospital? If so, was it Bertolt?" Everyone paused for a second before laughter erupted in the room. "What?" "It was a good question, and the way he looks at you makes me think he's afraid of you for that reason. Now, have you-" "No, I just spared with him once." Hitch nods. "Makes sense. I once saw Mikasa and you running together- swore you both were faster than cheetahs." "Speaking of cheetahs does anybody want Cheetos? I have some in the cooler." Your face scrunches as you look over to the now-present brunette. "Sasha, why are they in-" "Don't ask."

More giggles erupt, and you almost thought the next question wouldn't come. You thought that it was just a figment of your imagination when Zeke asked, "Eren, who was your first kiss?" And you thought the silence was just because of the alarm blaring next to Hitch. So, you really were oblivious.

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