First Impressions // A Bridgerton Story

Chapter 25

" Has anyone besides This Author noticed that Princess Amelia Windsor has been very distracted of late?

Rumor has it that she and the King of Spain (the charming fellow every lady is whispering about) had a little squabble during their breakfast meal.

And apparently, our Princess has lost her heart to someone who is not her husband to be, if the whispers are to be believed she has received letters of love declarations.

Trouble in paradise it seems, indeed. "

LADY WHISTLEDOWN'S SOCIETY PAPERS, 22 MAY 1814

(the day before the wedding)

As long as Amelia could remember, everybody loved her.

Her father. Her mother. Her brothers and sisters. Her cousins. Her nieces and nephews. Her sister-in laws and her brothers-in-law. Her ladies in waiting. Her servants and stable boys and foot men and chew and coach men.

But most of all, her Charles loved her.

She never knew exactly what it was. Her beauty? Her wit? Her kindness? Her smile? Her status? Her playfulness? Her ability to forgive? Perhaps her recklessness?

Amelia just knew that she had something special that seemed to attract everyone around her. Something intangible, something immeasurable...

And it gave her all the confidence she every needed.

But Amelia knew who she was from an early age and she knew what was expected of her.

Sometimes, she felt as if she would never live up to those expectations. That she would be struck down, shut out by her family if she did not live up to them. That they would discard her like a broken vase, and replace her with someone even better.

She never argued about being engaged to Tsar Alexander. She never argued when they made her wear his colours (which she hated), or play his music (which she hated) or learn his language (which she did not mind as her young mind always soaked in new information, but she did not love it).

Amelia knew the expectations set for her. She did her best not to deny them or argue with them.

She just smiled and curtsied and said "Of course".

What else was she supposed to say? No? I hate him? I hate you? I don't want to do this? Please Mommy don't make me do this, anything but this?

No.

Amelia was an obedient child, and a dutiful daughter and she carried her expectations like engravings on her skin.

She only realized a few days ago, finally ... that everyone did not love her for her beauty or her wit or her kindness or her smile or her forgiveness or her playfulness or her recklessness.

They loved her for her obedience.

And how heartbreaking was it to know that your own mother (never mind her brothers and sisters who were anything but obedient and were all suffering or have suffered in one way or another for their lack of obedience), only gave you the affections and the attentions because she knew that whatever she said or ask of Amelia, would be done?

As much as it hurt to admit.

But Anthony did not love her for her obedience, that much was clear. She vexed him, she challenged him, she prickled him in all the wrong but right ways.