V A L E R I O
What makes a man a monster, is his ability to hurt.
I've hurt people. Too many to count. And I never felt bad about it, until I saw that I hurt Sabrina. That made me the most evil of all.
"Oh, yeah, come fuck me," the girl speaks in a seductive voice. I don't know why she was talking like that. I think I'm supposed to be attracted to it but I can't find anything attractive right now, no matter how much I try.
She begins pulling all her clothes off. She gets on her bed, naked, biting her lip and waiting for me while I pull my clothes off.
What is life, without the woman you want. The woman you long for. The woman that makes a heart made of ice beat.
She threw the ring on the floor as if it meant nothing to her and left. She went back to her house, to return to her life. Without me. Acting as if our marriage had never happened. I'm expecting to be served divorce papers any day now.
"Yea, come put all of that inside of me," the girl says while spreading her legs. Fuck. I almost forgot that I was here.
I shake my head and shut my eyes. I try so hard to focus. I begin walking toward her with my eyes closed. I try and think of something that would make me hard.
"Sabrina," I say as I reach the girl, but I don't touch her.
The second her name comes out of my mouth, I freeze. I had started imagining the only thing that could make me hard - Sabrina.
The girl looks up at me with her mouth hung open and her eyebrows lowered. Awkwardness hangs in the air. She asks me angrily, "Did you just call me Sabrina?"
I push myself up and turn away from her. I don't respond. I pick up my clothes off of the floor and begin putting them back on. I hear her wrap herself in the sheets behind me to hide her body. While I pull my pants up, she snaps, "My name is Julie."
I didn't care at all. I don't answer as I pick up my shirt and pull it over my head. I hadn't even touched her.
Sabrina. I can't get her out of my head. This is my punishment, my curse. Cast upon me after hurting her - this was what I deserved.
Julia or whatever the fuck she said her name was called after me as I exit her apartment. I have to listen to her annoying voice shout until the elevator door shuts.
And then it's quiet.
It's quiet, yet my thoughts are so loud.
My feet hit the cement as I begin walking down it to my car. It's late at night. The city is loud. I'm still a bit drunk from drinking at the bar I was at an hour ago.
My phone rings in my pocket.
"What," I ask, seeing it was Shaw calling.
"Might wanna change the locks on that pretty house of yours because Sabrina is planning on killing you," his tone starts off sarcastic but then drops to complete seriousness at 'killing you.'
Slowly, I stop walking. The bottom of my shoe rubs against the cement at how abrupt it was. I think about his words. I take them in.
"So she's still thinking about me," I think out loud with a smile.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Shaw asks. "Yea, she's thinking about you because she's planning on stabbing a knife through your heart."
I let out a laugh while I smile widely.
Sabrina Vitale. A woman that always kept me guessing. To hear that she was planning on killing me was perfectly in character for her. Even if that's what's making her think of me, at least she is.
