Stars Around My Scars - Conrad Fisher

1. Hell-Filled Past

Death. It's all I feel like I remember. My mom, dead. My dad, dead. No siblings, no pets. Just me standing at the face of death. I know I'm next.

I'm Mackenzie Baker. My friends called me Mack but my very close friends called me Mackie. But now I'm moved in with my aunt and my two cousins. Far away from my home.

My aunt's name is Laurel, but I just call her Aunt Laura. She's my mom's sister. She's a nice person but she needs to get out of the 1970's and 80's. She's a little old fashioned but she's a responsible and respectful person. She's really understanding too.

Bella, or Belly, is one of my cousins. She's 15 but she turns 16 in a few days. She's a really social and happy person. She's energetic and fun. Unlike me.

Steven, or Stevie as I like to call him, is Belly's brother. He's a pretty cool and chill guy. He throws his sister under the bus sometimes. He's older than Belly so he's the more mature and organized sibling. He's also really smart.

Then there's me, Mackenzie. I used to be super fun and energetic like Belly but ever since my parents died, I've been tired and boring. I've been a depressing person for the past 3 weeks.

My mom had cancer. I loved her more than anything. Her name was Amelia Baker. She struggled in Chemo for months and never went for a trial. She decided to be with her family for her last few months instead of taking a chance to live. I wish she would've done the trial and fought through, but she didn't.

After my mom died, my dad, Matt, spiraled down. He went and bought a whole load of drugs. The day after my mom's death, he overdosed. I came home from getting some groceries and I walked into our apartment. I smelled something really gross and I walked into the living room and found my dad. Dead on the couch, surrounded by empty containers that once held pills. My whole family, except me, died within 2 days.

Then after staying at the police station for hours, Aunt Laurel got a phone call and said that she would take me in. I've never been so grateful. She understands that I need space and that I need to be alone. She understands me.

It's almost been a month since those two days. I know those two days coming up won't be pleasant.

Right now, we are driving to the Fishers' house. Susannah was a really close friend to my mom and she's really close to Laurel as well. I haven't seen her for three months. My family drove to their house for a week three months ago. We come down here every year during the school year. Conrad, Jeremiah, and I did everything together last time we saw each other.

Conrad and Jeremiah are Susannah's kids. Conrad is 17, like me but Jeremiah is 16. Conrad is a football player and he's really funny and nice. Jeremiah is funny too. He's really energetic. Ever since I met Conrad, I've always thought that he's really hot and cute. Susannah also said to me that I'm meant to be with one of her boys. She's said the same to Belly too. But Belly can have Jeremiah. I'll take Conrad.

I'm sitting in the back with my AirPods in. I put them in ever since Belly started singing. I wish I was still energetic like her, but that would remind me of when I was happy with both of my living parents. Back with my friends and best friends. My best friend was Sarah Jackson. Best friends since kindergarten.

I fell off of the monkey bars in kindergarten but Sarah rushed over to me. She asked if I was okay and we've been best friends ever since. She's super funny and could make me smile any day. Only Sarah could make me truly smile now. I give people a small smile sometimes but Sarah could make me have the biggest smile ever. The last time I saw her was before my parents died. She dropped her phone in the toilet multiple weeks ago so she has new number now. I don't know what it is.

I'm wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and some athletic shorts. I'm also wearing my crocs.

Steven taps my shoulder and I take an airpod out. "Yeah?" I ask.

"We're stopping at a gas station in a minute." He says.

"Okay." I say. I put my airpods in their case and I put the case in my small backpack. It was my mom's. I just keep some small things in there. Keys, airpods, my phone, and other things like that. Maybe a pack of cigarettes too. I've started smoking ever since those two days. I'm just using some of my parents' money. I have a fake Id too. No one knows that I smoke or have a fake Id. I'd like to keep it that way.

We park and go into the gas station. I grab a Mountain Dew and bag of Doritos. Aunt Laura treats me like her own kid and she's offered to pay for any small thing that I want to buy at the store, and she's done just that. I don't try to charge her too much money though.

I see Belly talking to the ugly cashier. I walk up to her and set my food down.

"Hi." The guy says.

"Hi." I say.

"Are you guys new here?" The guy asks.

"No." I say.

"One word answers?" The guy asks me.

"Fuck you." I say. "There. Two words." I say.

Then Laurel walks over and buys the stuff. We get into the car and keep driving.

"Who was that guy?" Aunt Laurel asks.

"I have no idea." I say. This is the most I've spoken for a while. I'm usually all about one word answers but that guy was pissing me off.