Walking In Your Fleeting World || Dazai Osamu

Chapter-35: As I roam this neverending today

Karma

~Riki's POV~

"God..." I breathe out. "I feel like shit."

Despite the heavy curtains covering the only window to my room, the morning sunlight is still intruding inside rudely. I look at the clock hanging on the wall before me, It's currently five a.m., an hour I should still be deep in sleep. But me being awake isn't unusual, I did fall asleep around nine last night.

I roll over on my bed and press my face on the pillow trying to sink back into sleep, but the thoughts inside my head are getting so loud my whole body is filled with a strange sense of agitation. I let out a loud sigh and get out of bed, finally accepting the fact: I am awake.

After a sleepy twenty minutes inside the toilet, I come out with a not-so-sleepy mind. I push the curtains to the side and slide the window open, finally granting the sunrays access to my messy (according to Odasaku) room.

The delicate and warm sunrays greet me the first thing, I close my eyes to savor it momentarily before looking down at the empty street, resting my elbows on the window frame, trying to recall yesterday's happenings.

I got scolded, horribly.

Unlike what Ango told me, I didn't cry hugging my knees. However, I squeezed myself inside the really tiny gap between my wardrobe and bed and stared off into the space until tears inevitably ran down my cheeks.

Not that Dazai's words got to me— I was just so incredibly frustrated with myself. No matter how many times he pointed out my shortcomings, I couldn't follow through. It was as though my body wasn't listening to my brain. Why couldn't I? What was it that I lacked? Why was I so uncool in front of him?

Right after that, I squeezed out of the tiny gap and wiped away the dry trail of tears from my cheeks. I sat down on my chair and picked up the framed picture of the four of us from my table. I hid Ango, Odasaku, and me with a notebook and focused real hard on the smiling Dazai— and cursed the shit out of him. I didn't mean any of the things obviously, but damn was it ecstatic!

Next, I hopped into the shower and let the cold water drip relentlessly on my tired body, finally noticing how sore and painful everything was. It's been weeks since I did something strenuous, let alone used my speed. Since the beginning of my oh-so-luxurious current life, I've been telling myself I'll build up an exercising habit, but hardly ever got to it.

I glance up at the clock; It's somewhere near five thirty, the uncle should be asleep for another thirty minutes. Should I go for a run in the meantime?

With that in mind, I quietly slip out of my room.

When I return back at the restaurant— my mind still hazy and anxious despite the lightning-bolt-like morning jog— the door to the uncle's room opens; A very sleepy uncle comes out, covering his mouth with his right hand, yawning.

"Good morning, Oji-san!" I force a smile.

"Ah, Riki-chan! Morning." He greets me with surprise. Usually, Odasaku's the one waking me up after at least twenty minutes of knocking and yelling my name. Buying me three different alarm clocks didn't work out for him, I'm too lazy to ever set an alarm. "You're already awake? You must be so hungry! I'll get on making breakfast right away-"

"You don't have to hurry!" I quickly say, shaking my head. "I'll wait till Nii-san gets here."

"I see..." He blinks at me. He then smiles, a soft and affectionate smile, "Then go freshen up, I'll be in the restaurant."

"Alright!"

Thus I take a shower, change into something fresh, and head downstairs. I glance out the open window as the uncle works inside the kitchen.