Terrible Disaster (Ash Costello/Chris Motionless)

Chapter 1.

Ash POV.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me? I can't do anything right, and even if I try to do something right shit just fucking happens! I was sitting in a corner in my bathroom crying. With a razor blade in my hand. I had just finished my right arm when I heard a light knock on the door.

"Ash? Are you in there?" It was Nikki. I sniffled before answering him. Trying to make it seem like I haven't been crying.

"Yeah." I replied.

"What are you doing? You have been in there for a while?" He asked. Shit! what am I going to say this time. I had been absent from practice for a long time, and the band is probably wondering where I am. Considering I am the lead vocalist and all.

"Sorry Nikki. I actually was on the phone with my mom before I came in here, so I literally just walked in the door, but I will be out soon. Okay? I replied hoping Nikki would buy the lie.

"Oh no it's cool Ash we were just wondering what the hell was taking you so long, but when I tell them it was because you were on the phone with your mom they will understand see you out here in a few." Nikki said and I listened to his footsteps till I was sure he was out of hearing range. Then, I got up off the floor, and out of the corner I was sitting in, and started cleaning up my mess. I grabbed a couple of towels, and then some wash rags, and cleaned my arms up, and I made sure all of the blood was off of the floor before I walked out of the bathroom. I had the door cracked just enough so I could peek out, and make sure no one would see me with a bunch of bloody towels. When I was sure no one was around, and could see me. I ran towards my bedroom. Once inside I threw the towels in my closet, under a bunch of dirty clothes, and then I stood in front of my mirror making sure my makeup was still on. Showing no signs of crying. Everything was just fine, and I didn't have to add anymore makeup. All I had to do was pull the sleeves down my arms, and then I will be good. After making sure my arms weren't exposed anymore. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time.

"You fuck up!" I said to my reflection, and then walked out of my bedroom, and down to our recording studio. That we had in my house.

"There she is." Jeremy said when he saw me walk into the room.

"How's mom?" Nick asked me.

"Same old same old." I replied. They all nodded their heads. They know Ash. They know what you do to yourself, and they don't care. They know you're a fuck up, and you deserve to be punished.

"Hey! Earth to Ash." Nikki said standing right in front of me. Snapping me back to reality and out of my head. "Hey are you ok?" He asked me.

"Yeah Nikki I'm fine. I just haven't slept that much." I replied. And it's true I probably haven't gotten a good nights sleep in a couple of weeks.

"Hmm. I wonder why that is." He said nudging my elbow. I looked at him. Oh. My. God. He really does know. "You're excited about the music video we start shooting in a couple of days." He said.

"You fucking know it." I said relieved that he didn't know the real reason I haven't been sleeping.

"And you get to see your best fucking friend, who I know you haven't seen in a while." He said with a smile.

"Hell yeah." I said with a big grin on my face. Chris agreed to do the music video with us, and well he kind of had to, because he sings the song too, so. He was basically forced to be in the music video. But he said that he was honored, because it was for me. I wish I could see Chris now. Maybe he could help get me out of this funk I'm in, or whatever the fuck you want to call it that I am in. "So, you guys ready for some more rehearsing?" I asked after my little day dream of Chris I was having.