Phoenix Rising

051

In the heat of the rebellion, Lady Li had chosen to follow her husband to the battlefield, but when she had been on the brink of giving birth, the insurgents had launched an attack on the Duan military camp. That attack eventually claimed his father's life, and his distraught mother had been evacuated in the nick of time by General Du Wenjian, his father's deputy and closest friend—the man who later became his adoptive father. Afraid that the rebels would find and slaughter her newborn son, Lady Li had entrusted the baby to the hands of General Du, while she awaited a certain death in the abandoned temple they had escaped to. Thankfully, it did not come to that. His uncle, the second prince Shunde, arrived with reinforcements and managed to fend off the rebels, rescuing the ailing crown princess.

Given the tense situation in the kingdom and the possibility of surviving rebels attempting to assassinate the newly born heir to the throne, Lady Li had made the decision to hide the existence of her child, claiming that she had miscarried on the battlefield. As fate would have it, General Du's wife, Li Xiangyun, a distant cousin of Lady Li, had also given birth at this same time. However, the child had been stillborn. Although it had taken much convincing, she eventually accepted this "orphan child" that her husband brought home from the battlefield as her adopted son. Throughout it all, only three people were aware that Crown Prince Shunzhi's only son had not died—Lady Li, General Du, and the current king, Shunde.

"The Yu family and the Du family have been close friends for several generations, and the betrothal between Mayor Yu's eldest daughter and General Du's eldest son was decided before either of you were even born," Lady Li added, reminding Zhenghuan of the expectations that had long been placed upon his shoulders.

"Exactly—it was decided before we were even born! Why must I go through with something that was decided a generation ago?" Zhenghuan snapped irritably. "Besides, I'm not actually the Du family's son."

As much as he greatly respected his adoptive parents and appreciated everything that they had done to raise him, Zhenghuan did not like the idea of having to fulfil these outdated promises. He had swept the matter under the rug for the longest time, using the need to defend the border against never-ending skirmishes as an excuse to put off the engagement, but he could not put it off indefinitely.

"To the rest of the world, that is who you are," Lady Li said quietly, and Zhenghuan could see the regret and sorrow in her eyes.

He rubbed the back of his neck ruefully, realising that he had unintentionally touched a raw nerve. Having to foster her own child to someone else and not be able to even acknowledge his existence to the rest of the world was something that hurt Lady Li greatly, and even though in his younger days Zhenghuan had resented her for doing so, he had come to understand that his mother did not have a better choice. In fact, it might have been for the best, since he didn't think he would enjoy navigating the murky waters of royal politics had he hung on to his actual identity. That was why he had repeatedly rebuffed his uncle's suggestion to be reinstated to the royal family and to become heir apparent.

"Are you truly not willing to consider Zixi? I must admit, even I think that Zixi is a good choice as your other half. She is exceeding intelligent and poised, and also has the that girls who have been brought up in the capital do not. Is that not the sort of girl that you liked?" Lady Li asked.

A few months back, perhaps he would have agreed with what his mother said. Although he had no romantic feelings towards Yu Zixi, they had grown up together and he had always looked after her like a little sister. If he had to marry someone, then Zixi was not a bad choice. But that was before he met Han Zi-ning. Before that enigmatic girl somehow wormed herself into his mind and forced him to think of no one else but her.

Sensing his hesitation, Lady Li continued, "Zi-ning is not a bad child either. If she were, I would not have agreed to be her teacher, even if you were the one asking for the favour. But there is something about her... There seems to be a hatred that she carries inside, that drives her outward ambition. I've tried to ask her about it before, but she simply brushed it aside and said nothing. The child has many secrets, and you may call me selfish, but I do not wish for those secrets to become your burden."

Zhenghuan's brows knitted in a frown. So his mother had detected it too, that aura that surrounded Zi-ning, that seemed to have her trapped down a precarious path. He was well aware of those secrets that his mother spoke of, like the real reason why Zi-ning was so intent on getting her hands on a huanhun dan, but he suspected that it was already too late for him to turn away and pretend he had never met her.

"I won't marry Zixi, Mother," he said. "I can't. It wouldn't be fair to her." He would apologise to his adoptive parents and to the Yu family for that decision, and he would do everything within his means to ensure that Zixi married well, but he could no longer carry on this charade. He would have to make it a point to bring this up to the general the next time he returned to Anyang. "As for Zi-ning..." He thought about how she had said that she'd rather enter a nunnery than marry him, and he let out a bitter laugh. "Even if I did want to be with her, I don't think she wants to associate herself with me."

"Well you are grown up now and can make those decisions for yourself. Regardless of what you choose, you will always have my support," his mother said kindly. She beckoned for him to join her at the table, pouring out a cup of tea for him. "Your father's memorial rites is in three days' time, and we all know what that means. Shunde has already sent invitations to ask me to enter the palace twice, even before I stepped foot into Huangcheng."

Zhenghuan scowled. He sat down and emptied the cup of tea in one gulp. "He's getting more and more insistent lately," he said. "He's already named Ru-quan as crown prince, so I don't understand why he's still pushing this agenda and won't take no for an answer. It's been so many years, surely he should have let go of his guilt by now."

King Shunde, his second uncle, had always wanted to return the crown to him, stemming from the guilt that the king harboured for being too late to rescue his older brother from the hands of the rebels. He had been pursuing the matter ever since Zhenghuan came of age, despite the rejections from both Lady Li and Zhenghuan himself. A few years back, the king had appointed Ru-quan as the crown prince after being pressured by the court to name his successor, but even that appointment had come most reluctantly, after several failed attempts to convince Zhenghuan to accept the position. Were it not for Zhenghuan threatening to disappear altogether, perhaps the king would already have issued the edict to make him crown prince against his wishes.

"Shunde has always been stubborn as a bull, ever since he was young," his mother replied with a wry smile. "You are right. He really should move on, as we all have. Perhaps I should stop avoiding him and face the matter head-on this time, since I am back in the capital."

Zhenghuan sighed.

And may this be the last time we need to lock horns on this, he thought.