I found out you came home from an instagram post.
You had come home, and you were getting ready to attend a school that was an hour away from me.
Why hadn't you told me? Why hadn't you tried to make plans with me when you got back?
Months after you never emailed me back, here you are. So close, and we could literally see each other in person if we wanted to. We didn't need to email each other.
But maybe that was what it was all about. Maybe you never wanted to see me. Maybe you really were just bored, and I held your interest until you got bored again.
I don't want to say that though. I have always known what an amazing person you were. I knew you would do great things, and I knew you cared for me.
But now I don't know.
A year later, as I watch you post pictures of places I could drive to in thirty minutes, I can't help but wonder why you started those emails at all. Even more so why you stopped. I always seem to be left in the dark by you.
Once again I have a million things I've left unsaid. I wonder if you do too.
I have a feeling you'll always hold a small piece of my affection, but I know someday I'll meet others who I'll also have to give a portion of it to. You were my first though, and I think that will always be special.
I still love you, and I think a part of me always will.
sincerely,
I.C.
