It's Just Ann

Chapter 15 - Background

"That man just left Mum. She doesn't talk much about him and I don't ask either," he explains and his voice is cold and detached but he is still speaking and I guess it is because of the subject and not his marketing strategy. "I just know they dated for a while and the moment Mum told him she was pregnant he just disappeared. He didn't even break up with her or anything, he just packed his bags and left without saying goodbye so Mum was left alone."

I can't even look at the target and I only squeeze the dart in my hands pretty much like he is doing. I just stare at him with shock filling my veins. He looks angry and I can even feel his resentment and rage when he speaks, that fury against the man that left his mother. No wonder he doesn't even call him father but just that man.

"Mum lost her parents when she was still a teen so she was completely left alone. She didn't have anyone with her when she gave birth to me. That man couldn't even stay until then with her." Right then he lets go a humourlessly chuckle that almost sounds like a snort. "So it's always been just Mum and I."

"It must've been hard," I comment and Gareth looks up to meet my eyes. Until now his were on his hands and the dart he was squeezing there.

For seconds that seem to drag we can only stare at each other and I don't know what he sees but I hope that he at least sees the compassion and admiration because growing up like that can't be easy. I also hope he doesn't misunderstand and think I pity him.

"It was, especially because we struggled a lot to make ends meet," he continues, still looking me in the eyes. "Mum had always two or three jobs and I started working since I was very young. I was lucky I looked older than I really was because that allowed me to find a job before I was thirteen," he explains and my eyes widen in surprise and disbelief. "I just wanted her to have a better life so I didn't care about anything else but working and bringing home some money or doing anything that made Mum happy."

"What about acting? You said she introduced you to it, kind of," I bring up and he nods.

"I agreed to do that because she insisted so much and she said I should do something besides working because I was still a kid. I think she just wanted me to make a friend or something and overcome my shyness. I wanted to refuse but I then understood back then that seeing me only work and study also hurt her and made her feel guilty so I auditioned even if that meant I would have less time for working. I didn't think I'd love it so much or that it'd make Mum so happy."

This time I see a sad smile that even changes the look in his brown eyes. It's nostalgic and it makes me think his mind is very far away, probably back then when he discovered his love for acting.

"Mum was so happy every time she saw me on stage and that filled her with more pride than any amount of money I could bring. Seeing me acting made her happier than having something for dinner at night."

I also smile sadly, instinctively taking a few steps closer to Gareth as his voice also grows quieter. "I'm sure it did made her happy to see you having fun instead of working so hard, besides, I'm sure you shone brighter than anyone on stage so she must've felt extremely proud," I comment and his smile widens a bit.

"That's exactly what she used to say every time," he laughs and my own smile widens.

It is weird to see Gareth like this, so open and warmer than ever. I'm not sure if it's because he's tipsy—although by now I don't think he is that much—or because he is just that comfortable around me, but I must admit I really like seeing him acting this way. I really like knowing more about him, understanding him and why he is so serious. Considering he had such a difficult upbringing and tough infancy I'm not surprise to know he is an introvert and takes his work so seriously. I am not surprised either to know he never has fun and only works, even if it's doing what he loves.