Ignorance is a bliss/Tyunning

Nap Of A Star

he sits on one of the benches saved for visitors and one time patients. resting his head on the glass window, and crossing his arms.

he takes three more breaths, each one becoming shakier and shakier.

is he not good enough?

the answer is quite clear, yet Kai is refusing to believe it.

he knew it coming into this. that he'll be the lesser. and it was fine. he always is, isn't he?

when dating streets scums. he was not slutty enough. not putting out as much as they wanted him to. as if he was their personal whore. wasn't dirty enough to steal with them, wasn't good enough to go out with them. wasn't what they wanted.

now, he's.. well. is it dating is the other person can't even admit their relationship to other people?

Kai looks at his unmatched flip flops. clicking them together mindlessly. he only notices his tears when they fall onto his pants, or whatever person those pants may be. he really doesn't know anymore.

"are you okay?" a nurse walks by, probably a new, or a transferred one. because she doesn't seem to recognize him. and he can't recall her either.

he wipes his tears hastily. not bothering to clean them all the way before reassuring her he is in fact, doing absolutely, fucking fantastic.

just coping with the fact that he's both too good for the bad and too bad for the good. nothing too out of the ordinary.

he's falling too deep into his spiral, he knows that. he knows he has a lot to offer, or else Taehyun wouldn't even entertain the idea of being with him.

the nurse walks away shortly after, getting the subtle hint that Kai wants to be left alone at the moment, and goes to treat the patients that actually need her.

"wait!" Kai calls when she's just about to turn left and disappear from his sight. she turns around, a expecting expression on her face.

"the guitar, that you have in the reception.

can I borrow it?"

...........

"No! we just had to hear it from the hospital instead of our son. right?" his dad yells in frustration. "do you know how this makes us look? not just me and your mom. but our entire family!"

Taehyun nods, not knowing what to say to defend himself. he fiddles with his hands, looking down in shame.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? well, that makes everything better, isn't that right dear?" his father says sarcastically, looking at his wife. "you think saying sorry will fix everything?" he puts Taehyun on the spot. and while his question is purely rhetorical, he still expects an answer.

"I'm- I don't know.."

his father slams his fist on the table, that is filled with Kai's stuff and piles of work flies.

"What do you know then? because when the news breaks that a paralegal on an important, governmental case has been poisoned for almost a month, and no one had a clue. who do you think will take the blame for that?" his father takes a sharp breath. "you? the people who did this? no.. Taehyun-ah. don't be so ignorant. it's our company that takes the fall."

Taehyun bites his lip to stop it from visibly shaking.

"if you felt off. why didn't you drop. from. the fucking. case!? do you know what I'll have to deal with once I speak to the board!? " his father screams, making Taehyun freeze in his place.