Glass Houses || [Noah Sebastian]

17. But now I'm right where I belong

    I drop my bags beside the door and quickly exit, needing to be anywhere but in one small confined space. My mind racing and chest getting so tight it feels like it could implode, as I make my way down the steps in what feels like a matter of seconds. All but running through the entirety of downstairs.

I enter the large kitchen, quickly spotting the back door and make my way over to it. I hoist it open hastily, revealing the medium sized in-ground pool that sits in the middle of a long row of lounge chairs. I decide to take a seat in one, feeling the warmth of the sun that quickly begins to sizzle at my skin. California heat is a lot more brutal than I could of ever anticipated. The air is thick and heavy, like a warm, wet blanket draped over the entire town. The sun beating down on the patio casting long, distorted shadows that seemed to shimmer in the humid haze. The trees hang low, their limbs wilting down and kissing the ground . The scent of damp earth and blooming flowers mixed together in the air, creating a heady, intoxicating aroma. The atmosphere surrounding me filled with an almost suffocating humidity, not even the air that kicks around is a relief. The way it touches my skin making me feel heavy with sweat. To say it will take some getting used to would be an understatement. This is exactly what I imagine hell to feel like.

Even though it's not the most preferable climate, I am undeniably beholden for the opportunity. In a perfect world there would be far less complications surrounding my newly acquired life. Jasper would be out of the picture for good, Missy would be safe and sound in her own home and Noah and I.. well, we would be a little less complex.

I try to clear my head, leaning back in the chair I'm rested on. I close my eyes to shield them from the blinding sun, listening to the busy city that now surrounds me. Hearing the impatient pedestrians revving their cars and erratically pounding their horns. I had become accustomed to the serenity that the outskirts provided me, it was a nice contrast to the business in my mind. Now, there's too much noise. I can't seem to catch a break from the chaos. I try to steady my breathing. Inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. Trying to find a rhythm that will help ease the panic attack that I've been suppressing for far too long.

"There you are" I hear Noah call out from behind me, causing my eyes to snap open in surprise. I don't respond, just allow him to make his way over to me.

"Are you hungry? I was going to order us some take out" he offers as I watch his shadow tower over me as he approaches the back of the chair I occupy.

"Whatever you want. I'm not all that hungry" it's the true, my appetite has been minimal if at all the last few days. Especially right now as I attempt to conceal my staggered breathing and erratic thoughts.

"I was thinking pizza and a movie. You still like horror films, right?" It's almost as if he doesn't hear the words that fall from my mouth as he plops down careless in the chair beside me.

"I'm fine with whatever" I'm not up for much conversation currently, and he seems to be oblivious to hints I'm dropping.

"Are you okay? You've barely said a word to me the last few days" it's almost like he's reading my mind, but his pestering it starting to hammer away at my already shortfuse.

I take yet another deep breath, trying to calm myself before I explode. I've been holding back my thoughts and emotions, but I'm afraid the dam is about to break.

"Just a lot going on. It's been crazy" I offer up a generic response, hoping it's enough to ease his curiosity. As much as I'd love to open up to him, it's proven time and time again to feel pointless. I've left my heart unguarded and now I suffer the consequences of my naivety.

"Well, I'm gonna order some food and when it gets here we can decide on a movie" he doesn't push the topic, to which I'm thankful for. I offer him a nod, as he stands from his spot and heads back into the house.
    "I don't know why you bother to lie. I can always tell" is the last things he says before I hear his back door open and shut. Leaving me to be alone again.