Solo and the City || Season One: Lights, Camera, Action

Chapter Ten

"How fast did he ask you to leave the next morning?"

"I love the Miranda Inquisition," Carrie giggled.

"He let me sleep in and made me breakfast," Robin began.

Samantha threw a poker chip at her playfully. "He's a hot actor, he loves going down on you, and he's cooked for you more than once? Why did you get all the luck?"

"What did he make?"

"The best Italian coffee I've ever had and a frittata."

"Oohh, romantic," Charlotte cooed.

"More details, please," Miranda requested.

"He ground the coffee from beans and made it in a French press. The frittata had arugula and red peppers in it. He cut everything fresh."

"So it took effort. Okay. Did he hustle you out of there after breakfast?"

"Not at all. We didn't leave until after noon. He dropped me off after picking up lunch for us on the way home."

"Where did you stop?"

"Native Noodles."

"And you got?"

"Vegetable spring rolls, chili crab pasta, calamansi lemonade, and mango pudding."

"Full meal, and the most expensive entrée on the menu." Miranda arched an eyebrow. "Did he pay or did you?"

"I tried to, but he wouldn't let me. And he recommended everything I ordered."

"Did he walk you up to your apartment?"

"Yes."

"Kiss you goodbye?"

"Yes."

"Ask you out again?"

"Not yet, but only because he's not sure of his schedule."

Miranda nodded briskly. "He's serious," she decided. "I say it's not a problem. Just go with it."

"I agree," Samantha urged her. "It's not like he asked and you denied him. He knows you wanted to. So just relax and enjoy it."

"Yeah," Carrie thirded the idea. "I'm sure he'll want it reciprocated eventually, especially if he was turned on."

"I don't know." Charlotte shook her head. "I think it gives him all the power."

"Why does it always have to be about power?" Robin complained. "Why does someone always have to have the upper hand? It's not like I'm keeping track of orgasms or something. I don't have a little tally going to make sure it evens out in the end."

"Isn't that what you're afraid of, though?" Miranda pointed out. "That he's created an imbalance by not asking for something in return, and that you've perpetuated it by not insisting?"

Robin sighed. "Yes, I suppose so. I'm worried that he's going to think I'm not giving enough."

"Honey, women give all the time. Let him give for a while," Samantha suggested.

"I just..." Robin gazed up at the ceiling, unable to meet their eyes. "Am I ridiculous if I tell you that I'm afraid it means he doesn't like me? That he doesn't want to have sex with me? I mean, it sounds stupid, right? He went down on me, and I don't think it was because he had to hide his face in my vagina to tolerate me."

Carrie scooted her chair over and hugged Robin. "Oh, sweetie, not at all. We all worry about things like that."

"I don't," Samantha objected. "Anyway, why wouldn't he like you? He's been wining and dining you, getting to know you. He doesn't not like you."

"I'm inclined to agree," Miranda seconded.

"You could just talk to him about it," Charlotte offered.

"I don't like admitting my insecurities," Robin mumbled. "I've barely managed to admit them to all of you. I don't want to air them to him, not right away, at least. I..." She took a deep breath and let herself admit it. "I've never thought of having a long-term relationship with anybody, but..."

"But you're thinking about it with him?" Charlotte finished excitedly. "You want to get married and have kids with him?"

"Slow down, Charlotte," Robin hedged. "I haven't figured out if I want marriage or kids yet. All I know is that I want to see him all the time, and I don't want to think about it ending. And I do want to be entirely honest with him eventually. That's important to me. But it's so early, and I've never done this before. Talked about my feelings with a partner. Ironically, I've always left those firmly behind in romantic relationships. If you could even call them romantic. Sexual would really be a better description."

"You don't even want to think of seeing anyone else?" Carrie questioned.

"No," Robin replied shortly. "And I don't want him to be thinking of it either."

She wiped away an unexpected tear that suddenly welled up in her eye, thoroughly embarrassed to be crying, even in front of her friends. "I'm just... not used to being this vulnerable, and it scares me," she whispered. "I'm probably overthinking everything, but I can't help it."

Carrie squeezed her. Miranda came over to join their hug. Robin leaned against them gratefully.

"You are definitely overthinking it," Samantha confirmed. "Just let it be whatever it ends up being, and have a great time while it's happening."

"No," Charlotte immediately disagreed. "You need to lock him down before he finds some other woman who can fulfill his needs better."

"Women aren't checklists, Charlotte," Robin chastised her. "And neither are men. There's no rhyme or reason to why someone falls for someone else. You can be compatible in every way and have no spark, and people who don't seem like they belong together at all can have chemistry. I totally get why you want there to be rules, but you're only hurting yourself by trying to perpetuate all of these imaginary milestones."

"It's going to work for me," Charlotte insisted. "Just you watch."

Robin let it go. "I really hope it does, Charlotte."

The night wound down after that. Robin was the last to leave. She lingered in Carrie's doorway for a moment. "Thank you for listening to me," she told her.

"Always," Carrie promised. "You listen to us."

"I love listening to you," Robin assured her.

They hugged again, then Robin headed home. She brightened for a moment as she saw the light on her answering machine flashing, but it turned out to be just a message from her publisher.

She picked up the phone, her finger briefly hovering over the first digit of Napoleon's number. When the phone started to squawk at her angrily because she'd waited too long to make a call, she hung it up.

She tried to convince herself that he hadn't called because he was working. And while she didn't want him to think she'd lost interest, she also didn't want to seem desperate or clingy. It would just freak him out.

At least, that's what she'd been led to believe by every article about dating she'd ever read. But she wasn't sure she should trust them, beyond Carrie's, of course. There seemed to be a lot of arbitrary rules, and it wasn't like anyone who'd created them could claim to be the one true expert on relationships.

She was out to sea, really, was the long and short of it. Lost in uncharted territory. And no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't sure she was ever going to find land.