Strange (Rosé x fem reader)

Chapter 16:Let's Really Not Kiss Alice

I continued, "I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't have liked the idea or would've wanted to come along, and it was something I needed to do on my own.

I didn't answer the phone because I was driving, if I knew you were distraught I would've stopped at the side of the road to answer your FaceTime calls. I'm sorry about that and concerning you, you didn't deserve that." As for the threat I sent her after she pulled my shoulder back, I needed Dr. Tesfaye's opinion on if it was a healthy reaction from trauma or if I overreacted because of trauma and seeing him. I felt like I had overreacted from how familiar it felt; the hibiscus shampoo that still suffused the air was about to become cheap whiskey and I felt an anxiety attack trying to creep up on me—the feeling of his hand on my throat being anxiety attacks because of how difficult it feels to breath when going through one.

Roseanne set her fork down and I had to let her know that it was her turn now. I'm sure she had a lot to say and everything was almost justified. I still failed to understand why she didn't let me walk away and got physical.

"You know how sometimes you can still smell the alcohol he drank? Sometimes I can still smell the blood, the hospital, and the antibiotics they gave you. That day was one that I don't want to relive because seeing you like that killed me. So when I saw that I was logged out I freaked out and went to the restaurant as fast as I could thinking of that day, and then when I didn't find you I came here and felt something die when you weren't here.

I understand that I can be stubborn sometimes and I hate that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me—love, I would've let you go because I want you to get better, and if that's what it took then who am I to stop you?" I loved healthy conversations, I loved this. Taking each other's point of view and sharing what we felt or thought.

Yet, I hated how much everything has affected her. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes and finding myself like that after an argument—with the possibility of losing that person. I've seen stories of people who have lost a loved one after an argument and they can't come back from that; knowing that nasty words were the last thing they heard before life carried its plans. It's awful. I also hated how long it took me to see that or how justified every action in her past was.

She was just trying to protect me.

I took her hand with my left, "I love you so much Roseanne, and thank you for loving me too."

——

Going to see Jun's father awoke my sense of fulfillment varying with different goals like going back to the restaurant, having a date outside, and of course, calling my parents and telling them everything.

I sat in front of my computer waiting for my mom to pick up and when I called her she knew to bring my dad in the frame every time. This time I was hoping she wouldn't because although she's gonna be angry she won't be bringing the same animosity that my dad would.

After what felt like an hour she finally picked up and there were both of my parents, sitting on the floor of the living room. It seemed that my mom was doing yoga before I interrupted her with the familiar ringtone from the mat and other objects laying on the floor. There was also soft rnb music heard in the background.

"My baby, how are you?"

I didn't even know how to answer that. Should I say good and then explain all the bad or say bad and just go straight in without even asking them how they are, shutting my screen as soon as I finished.

"Ok, my life has been... eventful." I was trying to keep my attitude and gestures as bright and enthusiastic as possible to hopefully soften the delivery of my life these past few months. Months... god they're gonna be pissed.