A year after the two had joined The Commission Five started to noticed the sparkle he always loved in Willow's eyes go dim. A month before the two left the sparkle was almost nonexistent. And he blamed himself for that...
"Why not?"
"I only use 'her' when it's necessary," Willow stated.
"Her?"
"So you're basically saying you don't use your powers?" Diego asked as he leaned forward.
"Basically?" Willow answered in what sounded more like a question. She used 'her', it wasn't like she was hiding 'her'. But as she said she only did it when it was necessary. She was tired of being treated like an animal in circus. She was done with putting 'her' powers on display for everyone every time they asked...
Diego leaned back in his chair as he rolled his eyes. Allison or Willow didn't use 'their' powers anymore and it made him confused/frustrated. Why have them if you won't use them he though shaking his head. It was a complete waste.
The room grew quiet, the siblings didn't understand why Willow didn't use 'her' powers. She didn't expect them to understand, they don't know half of the shit she and Five been through... fuck Five doesn't know half how the shit Willow and 'she' went through at The Commission. And she wanted to make sure that never changed... He had enough stress, she didn't want to add anymore.
"We're having a funeral for are dear old paps," Klaus smiled, breaking up the awkward silence.
"We're dumping his ashes in his favorite spot."
Five furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at Luther. "The old man had a favorite spot? That wasn't his office?"
"Apparently that tree over there," Diego point out the window. "Where him and daddy's boy over here hung out."
"I-"
"Nice to see nothings changed," Five said cutting Luther off as he clicked his tongue and walked out of the room.
"Thats all you have to say?"
"What else is there to say?" He questioned.
"It's the circle of life!" Willow said as she followed after him. "No reason to dwell on it!"
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Willow liked to act confident, she was a people pleaser. It was hard to not be one. When that's a life she grew into her. Her parents were people pleases and it rubbed off on her hard... After all these years it still hasn't went away.
She liked to act like nothing got to her but as I said before, some things were able to break her. One thing that could always break her in a second was the fact that she would never see her parents again. It doesn't matter how much she wished and prayed, she knew it wouldn't happen. She could she them thousands of times in her dreams but that would never come true.
Yes, Willow Grace-Hargreeves was a 58 year old married women. But she still loved and missed her parents dearly. She was only 13 when she 'lost' them. Her and Five had to grew up together, they had to take care of one another. They couldn't rely on anyone else other than each other. They only trusted each other... But that's what happens when you grow up in an apocalypses.
There were times when all Willow wanted to do was tell her mother about her crush on Five... but she couldn't. Or when an anniversary of Five and Willow's marriage came up and how much she wanted to wake up early and make him his favorite breakfast in bed with her father... but she couldn't. Or even when she wished it would be her father stand right beside her giving her away to Five... but it wouldn't happen...
They were gone and she was going to have to except it and not dwell on it.. or she could push all the emotions about the topic and subject down so far that she would forget and when one things is brought up she would explode like a god damn bomb?... Well that's what she did.
Willow wasn't dumb she knew bottling up her emotions would only end badly for her and for the ones around her but she didn't care. It hurt too much to think about the last time she ever saw them. Or the last things she ever said to them.
Willow tried not to dwell she did but it didn't work. She couldn't stop her mind from going all over the place. And one place it loved the most was the memory of the last time she saw them.
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'"I'm going now!" Willow yelled as she opened the front door.
"Where are you going?" her mother asked walking into the foyer.
"Griddy's."
"Be back be-"
"Before the street lights come on, I know," Willow said cutting her mom off.
"Okay," Ivy said walking closer to her daughter. "I love you have fun," she said giving Willow a kiss on her forehead.
"Love you too mom."'
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'Love you too' is what she last said to her mother. That memory would play on rewind in her mind day after day. It may not seem like a big deal 'oh it's a daughter saying she loves her mom back, so what?' But to Willow it was more. She didn't say 'I'. All she said was 'Love you too, mom.' She forgot the 'I'. To others it would be fine, it wouldn't mean much. But to her it meant everything.
Once again that's not something to dwell on but here Willow was dwelling on it...
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'"Sleep tight 'Little us'" Willow's father said calling her by his nickname for her. People always said Willow looked just like the couple. They said it looked like someone coped the couples best features and pasted it right on to Willow. So her father came up with the nickname 'Little us'.
"Night dad," Willow yawned as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom. Willow and her father stayed up late to finish watching some show. Even though her father had work early the next day and she had school, they just wanted to spend some time with each other.
"Wait," he said standing up from the couch. "Where do you think you're going young lady?"
Willow looked at her dad confused. "My room," she said pointing to the the top steps.
"With out a hug?" He raised an eyebrow.
Willow chucked shaking her head before she dove into he father's arms.
"Goodnight Willow," he said, letting her go with a big smile on his face. "I love you."
"Love you too," she yawned as she ran up the stairs.'
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There it was again. 'Love you' instead of 'I love you.'
If only her mind would stop torturing her with these memories... but even for a human brain... that's too much to ask for.
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YOU ARE READING
The Darkness Within- Five Hargreeves
Fanfiction~Her aura was a warm chaos~ Five Hargreeves x Oc I do not own the Umbrella Academy characters. I only own Willow Grace and her parents.
