here i am | haobin

7;

D1 TO FINALS

zhanghao dreams of debuting.

the lights are almost blinding. there's a bead of sweat travelling down his neck, and the stadium erupts in cheers when his name is announced. he lets out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding as the other trainees crowd around to congratulate him.

hanbin approaches him with a beaming smile, enveloping him in a warm hug. everything else seems to fade away, and all he can see is the boy standing in front of him.

"you did well, hao hyung. i knew you'd make it," hanbin whispers into his ear, and it sends a thrill down his spine from how close they are.

zhanghao doesn't reply because he doesn't trust himself to say anything, especially when hanbin is right there and his heart is pounding in his chest uncontrollably.

hanbin leans back slightly until they're face to face, with a confident grin. zhanghao's face is heating up, burning a fierce red as hanbin closes the distance and their lips meet.

zhanghao startles awake, gripping the front of his shirt so tightly it crumples. he has to take deep breaths to calm down, because he can still feel the ghost of hanbin's lips on his and the hand on his waist like it was real.

he must be crazy, dreaming about hanbin kissing him in front of tens of thousands of people. 

when zhanghao collects himself and his breathing has more or less evened out, he notices that he's the only one in the dark room. or more like he's the only one on hanbin's bed. he remembers them falling asleep together, arms tangled and his face buried into the younger's chest.

there's only one place zhanghao can think of where he might be.

-

the low hum of one of the washing machines greets zhanghao when he pushes the door to the laundry room open, a load of laundry still tumbling in one nearest to him. 

the sliver of moonlight barely illuminates the room and he has to squint to make out the shadow tucked into the corner. someone with his head down. hanbin.

hanbin's tucked into the corner of the laundry room, wedged in between the wall and the last washing machine. zhanghao pads over softly in his slippers. there isn't any space to move at all, but zhanghao still squeezes beside him.

the younger looks up with traces of tears evident on his face and manages a small smile. "hi," he whispers.

"come here," zhanghao murmurs softly, opening his arms to pull hanbin closer, who leans into him and begins to sniffle into his shirt. he gently combs through hanbin's hair, lips pressed onto his forehead.

it reminds zhanghao of how this exact scenario had unfolded just last week, now with the roles reversed.

"hao hyung." its a barely audible whisper, choked through tears. zhanghao feels an ache in his chest at how sad hanbin sounds. he doesn't want hanbin to be sad. 

"hmm? what's wrong?" he pats the younger on his back comfortingly, wishing he could give more comfort than letting hanbin soak his shirt with salty tears and cry this hard.

"what if you don't make it? what if i don't make it?" hanbin sniffles, looking up at zhanghao with shiny eyes laced with fear. at that moment, zhanghao realises how much hanbin relies on him and vice versa. 

sung hanbin, his supposed rival and contender for p01, is crying in his arms worrying whether they're both going to make it the day before finals. they had all seen the interim rank when it came out- they were all shocked that hanbin had dropped to 3rd. hanbin had shrugged in response with a smile, but zhanghao knew him better than that. hanbin was worried.