Somewhere in the mind of a teenage girl

Fifteen

"I was just like you when I was a freshman."
Except you weren't just like me.
You were you.
You were focused on being the best and making good grades.
You didn't mind having no boys look at you.
So no, you weren't like me and I am nothing like you.
You liked boys but not the way I do.
Clearly I have an issue or two.
To be honest, I actually have quite a few.
"It's okay to have a crush and think someone is...well...hot. And it's okay to talk to him. But since he's older you shouldn't really act on your feelings and definitely don't do anything.
And that's the problem, that's the thing.
That right there is why we are not the same.
I say I'd never do anything.
Thinking about it grosses me out
But sadly, if he asked me, I'd act on it.
No doubt.
Anything to have someone want me.
But wait I'm just a kid. I'm just a baby.
I'm a freshman.
I'm just fifteen.
So why do I want to be wanted so bad, by a boy who doesn't even know my name?
Why do I long for a guy to look at me the way they do in the movies?
Why can't this delusional side of me take its stride and leave? Why must I feel the need to have a guy be pleased with me?
A perfect fairytale with a happy ending.
Maybe I can add that to my wish list, my Amazon cart.
What age is to early and to late to start?
What if no one in these 4 years of high school wants me?
Slow down girlie.
Cause till April 14, 2024
You'll still only be 15.