A glimpse of dawn~ connor x reader dbh

5

...
do i deserve to feel love again?

That's one I will never quite know the answer to. Even if I learn it, It's going to be awhile. Love doesn't make sense, it's painful but it also fills your heart with an unmatched kind of joy.

When I had my first love, I came up with a little thing.

L - Letting yourself free from all insecurities
O - Overthinking.
V - Very long hugs.
E - Everyone else hates you.

It's pretty accurate, except for a few small things. I've stuck to it my whole life, reminding myself that the hugs and freedom might feel amazing, but there's always repercussions.

Pain.

No matter how beautiful he may be, there's flaws. I learned that the hard way. No matter how soft his skin is, how warm his eyes look, how cuddly, no matter if he has cute tufts of hair, or is tall and strong, smart.. he will always have a flaw. A devastating, relationship ending flaw.

No human in this world doesn't have one.

I feel a wave of sadness rush over me, and I chug down the rest of my drink. I slowly sit up, stretching out my arms along the way.

I rest my jaw along my hand, my eyes staring off into space.

I feel someone sit down next to me,
"Hey beautiful."

I jump, swinging my body around to see who in the hell is talking to me.

It's..
Someone I don't know.

He has a medium build, a little shorter , blonde hair. Bright blue eyes. A smile that's a little too perfect, filling his face symmetrically.

"Shit. Sorry, hi." I say, my muscles immediately loosening. "How are you?" He asks, no pauses. "Good.." I respond, slightly disturbed. "What about you?"

He flicks his hair out of his face, his eyes looking out into the distance. "Pretty boy", some may call him. I look down at his outfit to see an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and loose jeans.

"I'm doing fantastically." He responds, fluttering his eyes back down to me.

Silence fills the air for a second, my mind too frazzled to answer. Even though i've given no answer, he jumps straight to the point. "Hey look, your like smoking hot. Would you wanna go into the family restroom?" He asks, leaning forward and talking in a whisper. He shows his teeth with his smile, white glistening.

I blink, my thoughts cluttered. "Come on," he says, taking my arm and dragging me in the direction of the bathroom. "You know you want to."

A few feet forward, I pull back. My brains finally recollected itself. My heels dig into the flooring, stopping us in the middle of the bar.

"I'm sorry- i'm not really sure I want to do that-"

He tugs again, "I promise you will enjoy it." His eyes glance down at my body, winking on their way back up.

A wire snaps in me, what the hell am I doing? This guy can just drag me around. "Look bud," I say, lowering my voice to match his. "I hate to break it to you, but consent is really hot. And I don't even know your name. Nothing about you is attracting me. So let go of me before I take you to that bathroom to bust your neck in two. Not exactly what you were hoping for, huh?"

His grip loosens, and I pull away. I turn around back to where I was sitting, grab my bag, and make my way out. With no glance back.

That's when I realize exactly what I don't want in a man, and I slowly connect the dots to know what I do want.